“All of us grow up and teach ourselves to tackle our problems – but when did we become so capable?”
Perhaps, it’s like we grow wiser each time a bulk of problems is thrown on our way. We take some blows, taste the mud, and keep walking anyway. Soon, we get so used to grappling with life that it begins to seem normal.
The thought doesn’t even strike us, that maybe, we taught ourselves some priceless lessons along the way.
- That relationship you lost made you emotionally resilient
- The job you were rejected for made you seek better opportunities
- The emotional insecurities you concealed molded your character
In retrospect, it all makes sense.
However, ‘staying calm’ is the last thing you’d possibly think of when you’re juggling all the small as well as big disasters. It’s obvious to feel helpless. Or clueless, like a deer in headlights.
But what do you do when life’s problems hit you like a truck?
Genuinely, what are a handful of steps to take, or advice to remember to help you cross those deep waters? Here are some actions you can take each time you’re hit by problems in all aspects of life.
This list is nothing but a bunch of perspectives and alternative ways of look at things and fixing life when something goes haywire. It’s a generalized bundle of all the possible steps you can take from wherever you are. I’m hoping these work (as they did for me).
Here’s a list of ways you can use to face any problem in your life
Admit that there’s a problem
Most people when encountered with a problem, act like Ostriches – they bury their head and pretend that a problem doesn’t exist. That’s a nice way to be doomed.
Whether it’s a pending bill, upcoming deadline or certain action you’ve been delaying, just admit that it’s actually a problem and you need to consider resolving it. Once you do it, you also get on the track of visualizing all the possible solutions.
Ask “now what?”
Let’s say the one thing you dreaded the most, like the one you weren’t even prepared for, happened.
- You job you earned your bread with, gone
- Your girlfriend betrayed and abandoned you
- The cruise you were on, drowned
There’s always a worst-case scenario.
Though, what matters ultimately isn’t the problem, really. It’s the ability to seek out a solution. When you ask yourself “now what?” finding a solution becomes your sole task.
Focus on the tiniest step
Perhaps, your problem resembles a humongous giant. It’s badly stubborn and doesn’t throw in easily. You don’t even know what you’re supposed to do against it.
So, what do you do then? Think of the smallest possible task and act on it. It breaks the initial resistance and helps you get moving. After that, things take care of themselves.
Like, emailing employers when you’ve lost your job, or resolving any issues you may be having with your friend, and so on. I like the way Tim Denning has explained it in his post.
No blaming or excuses.
Accept that something happened and it affected you. Learn and move on. What’s the point in justifying your inaction or in pointing out whose fault it was? Grow up, own the situation, and roll up your sleeves – there’s work to be done.
Find the roots
It’s a valid question.
Why did the problem occur in the first place? Perhaps, it could’ve been avoided or taken care of earlier. Obviously, talking about that wouldn’t make sense now, but it matters to avoid its recurrence in near future.
Ask for help
No rocket science.
What did someone who’s been on the same road as you did? Talk and find out.
It’s not that you necessarily need to follow the footsteps of others, but sharing your problems and gathering some genuine advice alleviates the problem. There’s no reason to sweat when you don’t need to, or making hard things harder.
Actually, everything changes. The world evolves and you’re supposed to keep up with it. When you don’t, you feel left out. The only way to catch up again is to adapt to what happens around you – and the change doesn’t have to be big.
Take it one day at a time.
Watch out for an alternative
Some questions make sense.
One such question is that is that is it really necessary to fight a certain problem when there could be an alternative to it instead? Sure, a problem needs to be solved, but not unnecessarily.
If there’s a better alternative, toss your problem and move on to a better solution.
Get onto something better
Ruminating is severe.
Chances are, you’ll spend most of your time daydreaming, recollecting your thoughts, and finding a reason responsible for your pitiful state. It’ll help to some extent as well – but not after a point in time, beyond which it doesn’t even matter.
Drop the thoughts about whatever has happened. It’s time to think what else could be done. It’s time to simply look ahead and seek a way.
Not lazy or anxious – just somewhere between these two extremes. This gives the courage to stand against anxiety and also gives the hope to hold on.
Maybe, you can do nothing. It’s as worse as it gets. You’re at the rock bottom. Then, wait patiently for a while. Nothing stays as it is forever. Once some new doors open, life would be fine again.
The diversity of life and its multiple aspects are tough to handle – like relationships, finances, health, and emotional well-being. Yet, when you work on eliminating the pile of problems, one by one, you find a state of bliss.
Ultimately, what you should remember is that it’s not solving problems that actually matters but rather making yourself capable of dealing with anything that comes on your way.