Here’s a quick, sensible tip: Be happy for yourself, instead of trying hard to show others how happy you are.
I’ve been observing the world around me. The people, what they do, and their reasons for doing whatever they do – and I’ve learned an odd trend that’s occurring.
All people want to show how happy they really are.
Maybe, it’s already been happening for years but now it’s taking over faster – people are keener to show the world how happy they are instead of, well, actually being happy.
Sometimes, they’re doing both of these things at the same time: being happy and showing happy. That surely may be doing well, to some extent, but not necessarily.
The trap of needing to show that you’re happy
Right now is that time when I feel we’re socially obligated to reveal what’s really happening in our lives.
Don’t post an update on Facebook for a month and people would think you’re dead. Turn-off Instagram for a while and they’ll probably check your profile. It’s an odd place to be at, seriously.
I’ve quit both, Facebook and Instagram. Been there for years. It didn’t make sense anymore.
It seems like there’s some sort of ‘happiness race’ occurring online. “Let’s see, who does it even better.” By the time you grasp what’s really happening, you become a part of it.
Even in the real world, I’ve met people who desperately find an excuse to brag about their recent vacation or those who try slipping the brand names of their accessories into their conversations.
I’m patient enough to listen. But what really bothers me is the way many of us have become more inclined towards appearing happy instead of actually being happy.
After all, it wasn’t supposed to be such, right?
- Do we need so much external validation?
- Does it seem fine to lose our actual identity?
- Is it necessary to be a part of the trends?
- How more important is ‘being cool’ than ‘being real’?
It comes down to individual choices, but still, I feel, it affects all of us in a similar manner.
Be happy for yourself, not for any other reasons (or people)
So here’s how you can be happy for yourself instead of doing it for the sake of impressing and pleasing the rest of the world.
BE HAPPY, but …
- Not to pretend that you’re doing well in life
- Not to make your ex jealous
- Not to appear strong when you’re not
- Not to show that you’re still joyful
- Not to appear better
- Not to pretend to be tough
- Not to show you’re loved
- Not to seem ‘cool’ or ‘unique’
- Not to fill your neighbors with envy
Real happiness is silent and peaceful.
It doesn’t make your try so hard – because you know in your heart that life’s alright, and it feels soothing, which is more than enough.
In the end, true happiness isn’t like a pretentious coat that fades away. It stays with you, within you. It is not a selfie, it is inner-contentment.
So, should we stop sharing happiness?
Well, that’s not the essence of all this.
If sharing something makes you happy, then do it maybe. Perhaps, talk about it while you’ve gathered with a handful of people you love, around a bonfire, on a starry night.
But you don’t need to shout out every instance using a megaphone at the world.
It’s not needed – realize this and you’d be happier because that’s when you learn to be happy for yourself first.
You can let those pleasant feelings tickle you, realize the joy, and value yourself without having to say them aloud. Peace.
Real happiness doesn’t seek attention
You may have already spent enough chunk of time deciding your clothes, choosing the right Instagram filter, and trying to appear smart – and that’s fine.
Though, you’ll be disappointed to know that nobody really cares about your happiness more than you. Not as much as you thought.
Here’s the thing:
Don’t care whether others are smiling more. Ignore the wish that you could’ve been happier. This moment is an opportunity to be happy, so be.
Maybe you cannot turn on happiness with a button, but don’t run away from it when it embraces you, either.
What you feel within is happiness. It’s yours, real and untouched. It may not be the best thing, but it’s your beautiful share of joy. You own it.
I saw a nibbling squirrel. A wandering Firefly. I spent a while with my family. Nothing extraordinary at all.
But I’m not taking it for granted. It made me happy, so I remain. I need not always tell the world, show the world, or stand under the spotlight.
There’s a silent space, away from all the attention. It’s peaceful. You can get there whenever you choose to, and you won’t be forced to look happy.
You can let go that social burden and feel like no single eye is judging you. You can be yourself and be happy the way you want to be.