I woke up staring at the shiny screen that popped out notifications, I buried my head within futile applications, and unknowingly cut myself from the real world – that didn’t feel like a life.
Honestly, I regret it.
When I grow old and look back at life, I want to be smiling
I fear losing life meaninglessly.
This thought dreads me somewhere inside. I don’t want to look back and feel like I could’ve lived more. I want every moment to matter.
Do something little. Really little. It’s not shameful.
When I look back at life, I realize that I’ve spent a lot of it trying to fight my insecurities to get a life I deserve.
In fact, I’ve spent a huge chunk of life feeling vulnerable, while trying to defeat the blurred thoughts in my mind which keep me restless, making me realize that I’m not good at a lot of things.
Here’s a lesson I’ve learned from the changes I try to bring in my life – little changes work better than the bigger ones. Or at least, it seems to be so in my case.
Your lifestyle might be different than me. Maybe you are busier, have lesser time, or do a lot more tiring chores than me.
But here’s the deal – what’s mentioned below is quite simple. Something you can use regardless of what kind of life you lead.
We all have dreams and passions – those which can be easily believed, and those which we don’t reveal to avoid making a joke of ourselves.
Some dreams might seem enormous – hard to achieve and beyond your reach. Somewhat close to impossible, or unbelievably hard. You crave them and know for sure that it’s what you want to do. Still you don’t take a step further.
Following your passion seems risky. Mostly because you think you aren’t capable and worthy of achieving it, yet.
Firstly, people don’t want to be seen as fools.
I mean no wants to be the social oddball who is seen as a dreamer. People think of themselves as dreamers, but they don’t want to be called one.
Being a dreamer makes you vulnerable all at once. Everyone comes to know what you’re up to – your plans, your tiny aspirations, and your intentions – there’s no way out. (more…)
We’re living in a time when everyone else is trying to stand out of the crowd. To be different, and yet, tries hard to be noticed by the same crowd.
People try all that they can to achieve this.
They purchase the priciest thing they get for themselves with a shiny brand name on it, they learn to do things which no other people can do just to show how gifted they are, they change themselves for the sake of impressing others, and sometimes – they give up their own identity.
Some people have other ways too. They act like certain movie stars and show-off all that they’ve got. They try really hard. They want to be cool. But they only mislead themselves.
Perhaps, they’re deceived by their own thoughts, or maybe it’s their way of being cool.
We’re all fundamentally the same. Ordinary people who expect simple things from others such as respect, love and appreciation.
We adore the ones who treat us fair and we spend more time with them. The people who make us feel special become an inseparable part of our lives. In return, we treat them similarly.
We don’t mind the flaws of the ones we love. Neither do we try to change them. All we do is plainly accept them the way they are.
The fact is, no matter how rich you are, how better you look than others or how powerful your presence is, if you’re fake and cannot put a smile on others’ face, there’s no use to what you own.
So who is really cool? To be honest, the ones whom we adore and have a regard for, are cool.
There’s just one thing which separates what we call cool people from the rest – they aren’t defined by what they have but rather by what they are.
For instance, I personally think that the character of Tony Stark in Iron Man is cool. Sometimes I wish I could be like him. But that isn’t because of what he owns. I like the character – there’s a thing about him.
That’s how all cool people are. What they do, how they think or the way they talk – it’s all a part of their identity.
Have you ever observed someone and thought “Wow! This person is awesome. I want to be like him.”
That’s the way you think about cool people. You want to be like them. You wish to absorb all their good qualities like a sponge and be as good as they are.
There aren’t any complications to this. The ones who inspire you are cool.
However, the people who you think are cool might be ordinary to some others. And those whom you see as normal may be heroes to someone else.
So how can you find out who is really cool? Observe people. If they many of the eleven qualities listed below, or even a few of them, then chances are that they’re cool.
If you can inculcate these eleven qualities in yourself, then you too can be the cool person you want to be.
The people who inspire others or are great at what they do are equally exposed to pressure as anyone else.
Yet, they don’t stress out.
They understand the significance of staying under control when circumstances force them to burn out, because they know that the situation might get worse otherwise.
So they relax, don’t get plagued by problems, and focus on finding solutions instead of letting their problems horrify them.
Though others think that they’ve got nothing to worry about, they’re actually keeping their problems to themselves instead of crying them out or complaining about them.
Cool people always deal with problems this way, they try to come up with solutions.
Those who inspire others are innovative as well as keen about simplifying work.
They don’t believe in laboring hard without a purpose, and they use their time and resources productively. Doing hard tasks more simply using their smarts is their strength.
When others look at how easy they make everything look, they respect them.
What makes you want to be like your idols? They inspire you.
They bring out the best in you by showing trust in your potential, and encourage you not only with their words but also with their deeds.
They strive to take you at a greater level and take the lead. Real life cool people always believe in enhancing the potential which they know others have in them.
They don’t see a competition. Instead, they just keep hoping that everyone prospers. They do what they can to help others rise by inspiring them.
When it comes to the working abilities of these cool people, they’re flawless.
They know their business well and are usually the gods in their arenas.
They don’t let anyone to remind them of their business since they’re always hell-bent on learning and improving themselves.
They might suck at other activities sometimes, but the skills which they master are unquestionable. They always nail what they do. They’re the infallible masters.
They’re aren’t necessarily perfect, but they give their best. Always. That’s what separates them from the rest.
All thought leaders are rebels by nature. They don’t care about the authority as long as they’re right.
The keep on doing their good work without letting the criticism of others affect them, and don’t fall prey to praises.
What matters the most to them is working hard and going on regardless of what others think of them.
They don’t let anything interfere in the path to their dreams. If they would, then they wouldn’t be doing what others don’t.
When you think they’ll just talk, they make you wonder in awe. That’s how cool people are. They create an aura around themselves.
They choose their words wisely which shoot your mind like arrows, they make you tumble using their sense of humor, and they tell stories which touch your heart and make you thoughtful.
They might not always talk or be social, but when they are, they win over hearts.
They can shear through you mind and make you think what they think, and make even the simplest of things look wonderful.
Real life cool people know how to express themselves and create a touch that lasts.
To them, all are equal and they treat everyone fair.
They smile at the inferiors, make no one feel timid and they don’t boast.
To them, simplicity is a virtue. They stay connected to their roots and have a mindset which wishes for the welfare of all.
Humility is what makes them lovable to others. The more they achieve, the more they understand the value of struggles, victories and the presence of others.
When people are loyal to their work, you want to be like them.
The person who sweats hard, sacrifices his sleep and works passionately on his dreams is always attractive.
A hard worker always inspires others to work hard and makes them want to chase their dreams.
When you see someone who works hard, you find his dedication to his job cool, and then, you wish to be like one. Real life cool people are the ones who have fun doing their work and treat it like play.
They don’t hate what they do unlike most people. Their joy lies in grinding harder and getting better each day.
The people who rise at the top from nowhere to taste success, understand the role of a few helping hands.
In the time of uncertainty, one genuine attempt of help can prevent dreams from withering and save someone’s hope.
So, the cool people try their best to be of any help they can.
A person who helps others, keeps alive the optimism in others’ hearts, and also the fragile belief that the world is still a good place.
They donate, they serve people with their work and they perform tiny deeds of kindness each day.
The people who inspire others are honest and speak their heart out.
They prefer saying the truth over misleading or lying, and neither do they trick people to take their advantage or use them for their own motives.
They don’t conceal enmity and pretend to be good but express what they feel, however blatant, and resolve the issues they have with others.
Their actions are as transparent as a crystal, and truth accompanies their voice.
When you’re with them, you don’t need to find out their character – they show it to you by being honest.
Like everyone else, they think about themselves, but they put others first.
In every action they take, they also think about the welfare of others and don’t do anything which would harm someone.
For the people they love, they make sacrifices and do all that they can. They become a shield to the weak and a servant to the helpless.
In the course of putting others first, they might fall back often, but they don’t leave themselves behind.
The good things they do end up making them better humans and give them a lasting satisfaction.
To them, it’s their cool thing.
The people whom we adore and wish to be like are as ordinary as everyone else. The only thing which separates them from the rest is that they seek the good in others.
Sometimes, they make us wonder and think “How can someone be so kind!”
Also, they’re sincere to their dreams, loyal to whom they care about and faithful to themselves. Everything they do is a manifestation of their love. Whether it be their love for their work, their people or for themselves.
They inspire all the beauty which is hidden in others, and that’s the only reason why we wish to be like them. They make us believe that we too can be as worthy as they are.
There’s something about the people whom you see as cool. Although they might not be the best or popular, you still have a deep regard for them.
I would love to hear from you your own definition of cool people. Like, what kind of people do you find cool and inspiring? Please leave a comment.
Have you been struggling since a long time to do something but aren’t yet able to make it happen?
Each day you wake up with a number of tasks which you have in your mind, but you don’t necessarily complete them. You skip and keep delaying those tasks until they start bothering you.
There comes a time when you realize that all that you were trying to avoid now stands right in front of you and needs to be dealt with.
Perhaps, because you’re busy. Or maybe you already have a lot to do at hand and you cannot afford to compromise that.
But is it right to justify things which you aren’t able to do? You’re supposed to do them anyway.
Everything that you do can be divided into three categories.
You are likely to complete the activities which are a part your job or chores because you don’t have other choice.
As you get busier and the workload goes on increasing, you begin to reconsider you choices. You cut-off the tasks which don’t matter, assign less time to what seems unnecessary and focus more on what affects you life directly.
But when you’re a given a choice to not do something, the first things to be thrown off your schedule are the ones which don’t serve your temporary needs.
So you don’t think much about doing the tasks which fall in the third type, which you treat as insignificant. This kind of work includes personal goals, side activities and hobbies. It may include your vacation plan, dream of starting a blog, reading favorite books or learning something new.
But then, you say that you have no time for them and stop all your efforts at once.
You don’t learn French as often as you used to.
You give up the idea of learning a guitar.
Reading new books isn’t on your list.
But claiming that you have no time and giving up these activities can cause you the greatest loss. The activities which seem to be insignificant temporarily are responsible for your personal growth, although you might not realize it.
If you prevent yourself from doing the things which slowly build your character and are responsible for your steady growth, you halt your progress unknowingly.
So don’t say that you have no time to do what can improve your life and take you to a higher level.
You have time for everything. Its just that you need to readjust your priorities, cut off some things and make a balance.
Because you think that there will come a perfect time in bulk, with favorable circumstances, when you would be able to finally start and finish as well. It never happens.
What happens is that you decide to do a thing. You make up your mind.
A week later you realize that you haven’t even moved an inch.
Then your days keep passing in the same way. Weeks and months pass too.
Yet when you look back to track your progress – Nothing.
The reason why you couldn’t get much done is that you try to do everything at once, lose your patience, and let your situation overwhelm you. In that way, you think much and do less.
While you’re busy dealing with the duties which you’re obliged to do, you completely deny to do the activities which you feel like doing.
So what you do in such a situation?
Divide your tasks in small chunks and finish them one day at a time. You don’t need to do all of them at once.
If you’re ready to take tiny steps for a change, that would be enough. Enough to set you in a routine and give you the chance to do what you love even while you’re busy.
For instance, you can start learning the guitar after you finish learning French. Or you can do both of them – on alternate weeks.
You can start by doing tiny activities each day.
All these things. Bit by bit. Each day.
If you succeed at that, then you’ll probably witness the change and effects. You’ll be doing what you want to do – even if at a small level. The smallest step which you take will take you further on your journey.
Be patient. Do all that you can. What matters is in going on somehow without letting anything come in your way.
When you find yourself helpless and think that you can do nothing, take everything one day at a time. It’s better than doing nothing.
If you want to do something but you’re failing at it, try to do as much as you can. Let nothing stop you.
If there’s something you wish to do but don’t have much time for, then do it one day at a time. It is better than doing nothing. After all, how do you expect your goals to happen when you don’t make them happen? Find a way to keep going.
All it takes are some sincere efforts, each day.
Do you like what you say you like? Are you sure?
Do you know it in your heart? Perhaps.
Wait. Before you close your browser tab and run away from this post, let me directly come to the point.
How often does it happens that you meet some people who doubt you, point at you, and blame you without knowing much about you? Quite often.
It seems funny how people pass their own judgments without having any proper idea about us or our intentions, and then make us the fresh topic of their gossips and talks. We do nothing, except observing them while they make fun of us and convince us feel like a clown.
When it becomes intolerable to you, you jump into their conversations, and act like a lawyer trying to defend himself.
“Oh! no, no, its not like that”, “Wait, what I want to say is that..,” you say and try to save yourself as if you are your own superhero. So the people who were already ripping you, get an another reason to pull you down and have a great laugh.
Yes it feels bad.When people pass needless comments and spread rumors about you, blood gushes through your veins, you start chewing your teeth, and yet you stand silently and listen, when what you actually feel like doing is just clenching your fist and punching those people down to ground and shout,”What the heck do you know about me? Why can’t you just shut your mouth up and mind your own business?”
But its not always favorable to do that. That’s not the complete solution to the problem either. It takes nothing to arise new conflicts, have some new enemies, and get involved in new kind of mess.
Okay then, here’s a piece of wisdom. It may seem useful to some people, and a coward’s way of running away to others. But its totally worth your trying.
It goes like this – prove nothing.
Simple? As much simple as it seems.
You waste a lot of your precious time in proving things to others, even if unknowingly.
There are hundreds of people around you who’ll have several opinions about you. For some of them you may be the apple of their eye, and for some others you may be nothing more than a futile moron.
What people think of you, what they say about you, and what they say they know about you, shouldn’t affect you. Try to maintain your calm.
Will they lower your reputation in front of other people?
When some people insult you, those who know you well do not believe them, and those who don’t know you will soon realize the reality and learn more about you. One thing which about gossips is that worthless people pass them to the worthless people who hear them.
So stop worrying about what other think or tell about you. That doesn’t create you. You always remain what you are, and others don’t define you.
“I don’t have to show anything to anyone. There is nothing to prove.”
– Cristiano Ronaldo
Why prove what you already know in your heart?
“You are an idiot, yes you actually are one.”
What if I told you those words above? What would your reaction be then?
Either you’ll just conclude in your own heart that it is me who is an idiot to say such a thing, and walk away like a wise human. Or you may just start stamping your feet on the ground like a child and try to give reasons, clarify and justify yourself to prove to me that why you’re not an idiot.
But in both cases, the outcome will likely be the same. That you’re not an idiot. In one case, you took me lightly and forgave my nuisance, whereas in the other one you reacted.
Did your reaction change anything? My opinion? Nothing would change, because I’ve decided to think so.
Either keep proving yourself to others or be wise enough to take life easy. People think about something in a certain way because they’ve already decided to think that way. In your heart, you know all the truths about yourself. You don’t need to prove everything to everyone.
Do yourself a favor by not getting into situations where you need to prove everything about yourself and change others minds and opinions. You job is to live your life, not to waste it by explaining everything you do to others.
Not all your dreams need reasons, not all your decisions must make sense, neither should all the choices you make fit into the conventions of the world. Decide how you wish to live your life and live it.
Especially what you already know in your heart. People may not always believe you, but it isn’t necessary to make them believe all the truths about yourself.
You don’t always need to give an explanation for the life you live.
He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else
– Benjamin Franklin
The post for about excuses was already on my writing list, but somewhere it made me reflect on myself. It aroused a guilt within me of being a lazy delayer.
The reason was obvious – I often make excuses. Maybe less than I used to, but I do. I’m a human.