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Vishal Ostwal

I Write About Life

How to Express Yourself (and Stop Dying)

How to Express Yourself

“Each time I write, I pull out a chunk of my emotions. I fill the paper to empty myself.”

I talk fast, and I write a blog – and while I do all this, I become oblivious to whether someone’s listening to me or not.

I go on.

The truth is, sometimes I’m only talking to myself. Perhaps, expressing much makes me appear self-centered, but I need to spill my feelings.

When I don’t, I die.

Not expressing and hiding feelings is killing everyone

I can see smiling faces all around me, but not smiling hearts.

I cannot see hearts, but I know they’re not smiling.

I’ve observed that people are terrible at expressing themselves. They are trapped within themselves, suffocating their own emotions.

They burn, and they don’t let the smoke come up. “Yeah, I’m cool,” they say and walk away.

Then, they cry in a corner, or perhaps, think of what kills them while staring at the roof when they’re lying in bed.

A noticeable reason why people are unhappy and miserable

While our generation has become smarter, we’ve also turned into a bunch of cowards who don’t want to confront their inner feelings.

How do I know? I’m from the same generation.

I know what’s wrong. I’ve been through the dirt. I can sense the creepy feeling that weakens and crumbles me.

Here’s a quick summary of what’s really happening.

  • We don’t say what we want to. We fear being judged, and try to fit into the conventions of the society.
  • We rely on books and the internet. As though our conscience and intuition are dead already.
  • We hide our actual feelings. And we pretend to have perfect lives, denying that something’s wrong.
  • We wish to open up. But we sense a dark blankness within, and remain within our cocoon.

If only we make our thoughts noticeable, be understood, learn to show up our feelings and free up what we’ve concealed within ourselves, we’d feel easy.

The simple rule is – the more you express, the less you die.

It seems as if you’re decaying slowly like iron rusts, and the moment you start expressing more, you heal. So life fixes itself when you’re more expressive.

Here are some ways to express yourself more (and stop dying)

1. Cling to an art form

Compose a song on keyboard, write down a verse, paint an abstract image, or do what soothes you soul.

You don’t need to create to tell others, but rather to tell yourself what’s within you. Create art for yourself.

Art is powerful. It’s a medium to make your emotions flow. A way to heal the hurt. And when you use it as a medium to convey yourself, it’s magical!

2. Share your deepest emotions

Go, post a rant on Facebook. Talk to your friend about life. Write a paragraph in a diary.

Just don’t let your feelings dwell within yourself. When you don’t pay attention to them for too long, they harden. So let them out when you should.

Be it grief, love, anger or anything – the only right time to talk about your feelings is the moment when they occur.

3. Speak up your views

One of the worst things you can do to yourself is remaining silent when you have an urge to speak. Don’t shut up when you’re supposed to speak.

If your boss is being rude and stripping your self-esteem, ask him to shut up rather than regretting not answering back.

If an acquaintance is judging you based on the choices you make in life, then ask him to either be kind or mind his own business.

Have an opinion and take a stand about it.

Some things in life are really clear.

Self-expression is about taking a stand for the clarity you believe in. Otherwise, you get used to self-depreciation and forget your own value.

4. Analyze your feelings

What does the storm within you say?

Which feelings are dying to come out?

Pay attention.

Close your eyes and ask yourself what’s wrong – that’s how you’d find all the answers you seek.

Are you worried because you did an awful job at work? Are you sad because your partner ditched you?

You already know what’s making you restless. Your job is to admit the feelings that keep bugging you and make peace with them.

5. Don’t complicate what’s simple

Tell people you love them.

Ask when you have a misunderstanding.

Say why you’re angry when you feel hurt.

There’s no big secret to simplifying life.

You already know what’s right, but you fear to do something about it. When you wish to be heard or understood, do what needs to be done.

6. Be yourself

Even if unintentionally, you reflect a part of yourself through the way you live, choices you make, and things you appreciate.

Your life itself is a form of self-expression.

The way you talk, the values you have, the clothing you choose, and how you retain your personality – all this shows your own respect towards yourself.

It matters.

Valuing yourself can teach you the lessons you need to learn.

A simple choice

Expressing emotions is nothing more than a decision.

The moment you decide to be honest to yourself and speak up about your emotions, the world seems anew. You stop surviving within a closed emotional space. You wash away your insecurities and fears.

You unfold a part of life you failed to see.

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