“When I felt lost in life, I asked myself the questions I kept avoiding.”
You don’t need too many books or advice to be wiser in life, or at least to solve your own problems. At its core, life’s simple.
That’s because you’re aren’t a computer program that can be fixed. No one else is capable of solving your problems better than you, either, because only you know yourself completely.
So when life seems to be getting out of hand, or when you sense that something’s wrong, try to ask yourself some genuine questions.
The answers you get to these questions can be sometimes more than enough to resolve your problems. To make you feel better.
Here’s a list of questions you need to ask yourself to improve your life
1. What Excuses am I making?
“I can’t travel because I don’t have enough money.”
“I can’t write a book because I’m not wise enough.”
I spent a lot of time making excuses.
I knew it all the while.
I fear actually. Stepping out of my comfort zone is hard. I find taking risks harder. So I come with all these insensible excuses to fool myself and others.
When it went on for too long, I got fed up. I took responsibility for whatever I was doing and decided to not whine again, no matter how strong the urge was. No complaints.
The moment I said “I’m responsible for everything occurring in my life,” I felt stronger.
The next time you notice yourself complaining, stop immediately and ask yourself “what excuse am I making this time?”
2. What am I delaying?
“I’ll meet my best friend, the next vacation.”
“I’ll focus on creating art later, someday.”
Leave a lot of tasks to tomorrows only creates trouble.
I’d regret having an incomplete list of things I’m passionate about. I want to do them all as soon as I can, while I’m still alive.
Not later but now.
For that, I need to admit whatever I’ve been delaying and list it down. After that I can execute those tasks.
3. What have I been doing wrong?
Occasional introspection is good.
Not only it improves you as a person, but also allows you to have a flexible attitude towards life.
Know what you do wrong changes you. You stop being a jerk. You choose better habits.
You do almost anything that feels right to you and stop doing wrong immediately. But before that you need to find out what you’ve been doing wrong.
4. How can I use of my strengths and skills for the best?
Forget your weaknesses for a while.
Think of the impact you can create with your talents, skills and strengths. You’re darn powerful.
Use your abilities to enhance your life, career, or even relationships. Those are a part of you. You can use them for yourself or others.
For instance, I cannot be great at everything, but I somehow combine my intuition, empathy, and ability to communicate to make others feel better. I use my creativity at work.
Find what you’re good at.
5. What do I need to get rid of?
Maybe material things.
Maybe your ego.
I don’t know.
Clear any space that’s occupied by useless negativity. Personally, I’m trying to read less paperback books, spend less time using the cellphone, and trying to give up my stubbornness towards others’ perspectives.
Get rid of the excess.
This simple practice can bring a lot of peace by ending the chaos in your life. Adapt to minimalism if that excites you.
6. Who are some people I’d always want in my life?
I think of this.
Then I’m instantly reminded of a few people I love and care about. I want to have them with me, even in the last days of my life.
So I know whom I should spend my time with. The ones who are meant to stay with me forever.
Find some people and cling to them. Be vulnerable. Be dependent. Try making life as beautiful as you can with them.
7. Am I taking my relationships for granted?
Nothing’s going to last forever, and maybe you know it too.
The people who care too much may stop giving a damn about you if you’re too arrogant, and they leave you lonely.
Not everyone will be there for you if you go on breaking their trust and don’t treat them.
The drama ends one day.
You’re left with pains and regrets.
Sometimes I feel like haven’t be as kind as I could’ve been. I understand it’s my fault when I feel my own people slipping away from me slowly.
I try not letting that happen.
8. Am I being true to my work?
Does your heart say you’re completely dedicated to your job? Are you putting the sweat and blood?
The point is that not using your full potential at work can keep you unsatisfied in life. You always keep feeling like you could’ve done better.
Also, your self-worth is somehow associated with your dedication towards your profession. You need to be able to answer yourself.
The actual joy of work lies in giving it whatever you’ve got, no matter what the outcome after that.
9. What’s making me restless?
What’s the noise within your head all about? The anxiety, sadness, and dissatisfaction points towards what’s ruining your life.
Fix those things.
I felt restless when I was busy ignoring my future, or when I didn’t complete my work on time – that was something I didn’t need to figure out, because I already knew what I was doing wrong.
Pay attention to your intuition and find out what’s wrong.
10. What’s my definition of success?
If your definition of success is same as the rest of the world, then you may be deluding yourself.
Just because others desire huge materialistic gains and are stuck in a never-ending rat race doesn’t mean that you need to be a part of it.
For me, success was more about being able to do what I wanted, and living a less conventional life.
Here are some examples to give you a general idea:
- Donte for charities, instead of going to high-end restaurants.
- Spend more money buying books than partying if you prefer.
- Grow in a profession you care about, not the ones you parents and friends say you should do.
- Don’t wear branded stuff if see no point in having it.
- Wear jewellery only if you like, not to make others jealous.
In short, don’t do what doesn’t make sense to only because it’s a mainstream practice. Rather, create your definition on success and act on it.
11. Why am I dissatisfied with life?
I get tired.
That’s when I wish could shake up life a bit and do something to feel more alive, and happier.
So I need to ask myself why I’m dissatisfied with life – and I get the answer.
I get to know the flaws related to my current lifestyle, work, growth, health or relationships.
After that, I can start changing whatever I need to.
12. How am I going to get over my pains?
Relationships hurt, and so do broken expectations or plans.
Still, you can’t stay tangled in them forever, right?
Cry and mourn until you feel better – you’re a human.
But also, get over those pains and come up with a remedy.
Seems like easier said than done, because all of us suffer and know how hard handling pains could be. But we know what can heal us.
13. Am I worrying about something I don’t need to worry about?
We’re all habitual to creating needless disturbance for ourselves.
We freak out by imagining unfortunate scenes in our minds.
Anxiety and worry our natural – still, you’re supposed to either solve them, or to learn to be okay them.
- Stop worrying about outcomes, because you don’t completely control them.
- Leave what others think about you to them. Don’t act fake.
- Get rid of unnecessary “what ifs…” and other kind of questions in your mind.
Initially that could be hard, but learn to be alright with that chaos in your mind. It cools down eventually, after you don’t pay attention to it anymore.
14. What’s something I’ll regret later?
Are you doing the activities you once wanted to do?
Are doing something you’re better off avoiding?
In both cases, it’s not hard figure what would make your heart ache.
For instance, if you wish to do certain job but end up doing something else, you need to find a way to escape it.
If you don’t, then you may feel like you’ve wasted your life by remaining a fearful slave to circumstances.
Similarly, if you cheat the people who trust you, either in business or in relationships, then ultimately you’ll feel guilty and you won’t be able to bear that.
So now is the time to prevent what can cause pain to you in future, and to create a space for peace instead of hurtful regrets.
15. Am I taking care of my physical and mental health?
There’s no exact answer.
Sometimes you’re careless and other times you’re cautious.
Still, you sort of always know in what aspects you lack.
- You know you haven’t been getting a good sleep when you feel drowsy throughout the day.
- You know you’re living a sedentary lifestyle when your back aches.
- You know you aren’t paying attention to diet when your body isn’t alright.
So you need to come up with a solution. Not some hard ones, but simple ways to ease taking care of yourself.
16. Am I being selfish at something?
Are you taking credit for others’ work? Or are you too obsessed with yourself, and aren’t paying attention to others’ needs and feelings?
Well, we all need to pause and think about this.
Selfishness isn’t a virtue – it always takes a toll.
You may lose your relationships, respect, or worse, even your own self-respect.
17. What is it that I want?
All of us randomly chase things.
We seek meaning in leisure activities, materialistic things, and temporary pleasures – that happens because we don’t know what we want.
We almost never think we can be content in life, as we’re too busy to give it a thought.
If you can really stir your heart to find out everything, it’ll tell you whatever it wants.
You’ll agree with it, and stop wasting time on anything that doesn’t matter to you.
18. Why am I doing whatever I’m doing?
You aren’t an idiot.
You probably have an idea about why you’re doing whatever you’re into.
You’re working to support your family, you have job that gives you time to do other tasks, or for some other reason.
However, you to ensure that you’re getting the outcomes you’re working for and your expectations are being fulfilled.
You want your work to help you in your life’s purpose, after all.
The next time you find yourself incapable of making decisions or solving a problem, then ask yourself a series of important questions which are most relevant and crucial. Then go on answering the one after the other, until you arrive on a satisfactory conclusion.
I’ve been doing it since the past few years, and doing so seems to work for me. I hope it works for you as well.