Do something little. Really little. It’s not shameful.
When I look back at life, I realize that I’ve spent a lot of it trying to fight my insecurities to get a life I deserve.
In fact, I’ve spent a huge chunk of life feeling vulnerable, while trying to defeat the blurred thoughts in my mind which keep me restless, making me realize that I’m not good at a lot of things.
I dreaded the stage
Every time I stepped on the stage, I felt like I was just a word away from making a fool of myself and giving everyone a good laugh.
Now that years have passed, my legs don’t shake when I’m giving a speech. I don’t fear to look people in the eye.
The reason why I don’t choke on stage is that I’ve already done what it takes to kill the insecurities. I’ve dealt with my part of being bad, and improved.
But all this has a reason behind it – I had silently spent years trying to overcome that insecurity.
In my classroom, I raised my hand instead of sitting timidly when the teacher questioned. I think somehow that mattered.
I stepped on the stage even when I knew I sucked at speaking and had made some blunders in the past.
I acted in drama though I knew I didn’t perform so well. This played a role in vanishing my anxiety.
But then, how else would I have learned? I had to do that. That was the only way out – doing the little things that filled me with courage, then going for the bigger ones.
That’s just about one thing – but no matter what aspect of life you talk about – there’s just one reason behind insecurities and a universal solution to it.
What makes us insecure is quite simple
Your flaws and weaknesses make you insecure.
Slowly, those flaws ripen and beat you down. You lose your faith and courage if you let your insecurities overpower you and begin to believe them.
You can always feel your insecurities affecting you.
Your insecurities overpower you as long as you keep shunning them. If this goes on for too long, you lose enthusiasm and feel like a corroded machine that doesn’t function anymore.
If something feels hard and you push it aside due to your insecurities, you’ll feel worse and discover that you’re failing to progress.
What I did
I felt insecure the moment I stepped on stage because I knew I wasn’t great.
That feeling made me sweat so badly, I didn’t even felt like standing on the stage again. The insecurity was there within me – but it was there because of my flaws and fears.
Similarly, I felt like I wasn’t a great conversationalist.
Being an introvert I was quite average at dealing with people, especially with strangers. I kept wishing I was good. Anyway, wishing didn’t work, so I took charge because I knew no one was coming to my rescue. I was the only person who could fix that.
I started coming out of my shell by doing the little things I shunned. This was essential for me to overcome my flaws.
I greeted the people I knew each day, began to talk with acquaintances, interacted with the groups I usually walked past by and even started out conversations with random people.
That made me realize one thing – I wasn’t as bad I thought I was. Opposite to this, I was great. It’s just that I hadn’t got used to being with people.
While changing my behavior and doing things that were on the other size of my comfort zone, I overcame my insecurity of dealing with people.
I’m not as bad as I used to be.
One of the things I regret in my life are the moments in which I didn’t take a stand for myself. They make me feel the worst.
That’s partly because I was quite gullible during my schooldays. I was a decent guy who avoided any kind of conflicts and stayed away from trouble.
I was just one of those pitiful people you come across who stand silently when a bunch of retards tease them and overpower them without any particular reason.
Once a guy beat me when I was about to go home from school.
He took a thorny branch and kept hitting me on my legs, until my legs somewhat started bleeding. He left me alone when the school watchman saw him and came to my rescue.
The watchman asked me whether I was alright. I said I was fine and walked home that day feeling like a loser.
At that moment, I wished to punch that guy, but I didn’t and chose to stand like a coward instead. He was more powerful. He had another guy on his side who was laughing all the while.
Screw them both.
I was a kid.
Now I don’t buy that anymore. I don’t hesitate to raise my voice when something wrong is being done. One lesson I learned was that courage matters more than strength.
Those particular experiences helped me develop a mindset that refuses to accept that nuisance anymore.
Here’s an example of how that particular incident affected me later.
Random goons coming in a group and shearing in the middle of lines were quite common in our college. We silently watched them get in the line as they pushed us aside while we waited for hours for the line to end.
After all, we the innocent people who never objected. But to be honest, we were cowards who didn’t have the guts to stop those getting in the middle.
It changed by the end of college.
I objected a guy trying to get in the line. He tried frightening me suggesting that I rather shut up and mind my own business.
Not this time.
I made created a mess in the corridor to get those three guys thrown out of the line.
I didn’t care about getting punched on my face or being the center of attention of all those students waiting behind me. Though no one objected, I felt like it was my job to stop that.
I wasn’t in school anymore and I had already known how bad it felt to stand there silently and accepting the ugly fact that I was a coward. I didn’t want to feel the same way again.
I protested and created a havoc.
None of those guys got their job done before others. In fact, they were sent away farther than they might have stood otherwise by the peon who interfered later.
That was the day I didn’t felt like a loser. I had overcome an insecurity of remaining a loser.
That’s what I have been doing.
If something makes me feel like a loser, I try to do something against it. Even when it means doing something insignificant.
Here’s the only thing you need to do to escape your insecurities
Your weaknesses find various ways to control you and might end up making you feel so insecure that you may even feel like quitting whatever you do.
That’s the only way to overcome insecurities – to act.
Let’s say you want to become a singer. Then you’d likely feel insecure because you’re still a beginner. You haven’t achieved anything.
So should you quit? Not at all.
You gain confidence and kill your insecurities only by doing things. In this case, singing. The more you sing, the smaller your insecurities become.
I write as much as I can because my insecurities tell me that I’m still not a writer. So I write more – because I know my self-trust would break if I become dishonest to myself and don’t show up at the keyboard.
No matter who you are, your insecurities only overpower you when you aren’t doing anything significant.
When you start doing anything in the favor of your goals, nothing stops you. All your insecurities burn.
If you fear the stage, intentionally step on the stage. You may perform badly. Once, twice or thrice. But you don’t remain bad forever. There comes a time when you improve.
Some people realize they’re bad at dancing, so they completely quit dancing and keep regretting the one moment they danced in their life. Maybe they should dance longer until they improve.
If you’re doubtful about your dreams then do something in the favor of your dreams, even if that means taking a tiny step. That will save your hope.
Most people don’t realize this part
There’s nothing significant about whatever I’ve written above. It’s a truth we observe changing our lives, even if it’s somewhat unnoticeable.
It’s simple – yet, not many people will get it. The secret lies in going on in spite of being bad or fearful until you stop being awful.
Your imperfection and flaws makes you feel insecure, and the only way to encounter those insecurities is to act and do something to end them. Each step you take in the favor of your dreams, passions or goals counteracts your insecurities.