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Vishal Ostwal

Make life worth living

How to Know the Best People in Life

Best People in Life

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” – Marcel Proust

When I think of the crowd around me, I realize that my life is full of people. My friends, relatives, acquaintances, and many others have filled it up with their presence.

But sometimes I question myself, “Who does really matter?”

Its not that I’m saying that some people are worthless. They all are beautiful in their own ways, and their being is what brightens up our existence. Yes, they matter.

However, some people seem to add more value to your life. They not only brighten up your life, but also add sparkle to it. They are the ones who make your life worth living, and are meant to stay with you.

We need to admit that we are humans. We all are innocent children in some way, who crave to be loved, expect to be respected, desire to be valued, and wish to live happily.

And guess when all these things happen to be true? When we are with those people.

What we humans need

  • A few sincere hearts who would listen to us because they really care.

  • Someone who would judge us less and understand us more.

  • A few eyes, which would light up at a single glance of us.

  • Some folks which would be always ready to be there in every chapter of our story.

  • A few people who would trust and believe us more than the rumors of other.

  • A few faces which would remind us that, no matter what – life is still beautiful.

  • Some shoulders we can cry on without hesitation.

When we find such people, life seems to be nothing less than a blessing, because we come to know that we’ve got a big reason to stay happy.

Such people might be anyone among the people who you are with – your friends, cousins, or anyone among your people who is capable of making you smile.

I am not the kind of person who likes to hang around with his folks in groups, or who has a dozen of buddies. Instead I prefer to be with a few honest people who would always stay true to me.

But there’s one thing I’m sure about – it doesn’t matter whether you stay amidst a lot of people or just a few, but if they really mean something to you, you won’t ever let them go.

Your life without them

Have you ever been to a social gathering without your best people?

Well, if you have really done it then you surely might have experienced the kind of insecurity which you get without them. You unknowingly start to hide what you feel, and express less. Even if there are numerous people to be with, you might prefer to stay alone.

Even if you’re among the kind of extroverted people who instantly jump into a conversation of people and join them, yet you understand the value of your own friends. Nothing seems to be fun without them, does it?

And do you know what does this signify?

It shows that you are something less without them, and far better when with them.

You know that you can behave the way you like, or even act like a clown, and yet you will be loved by them. This is something really great about them.

They don’t want to change you unlike the whole world. Instead they accept you the way you are. They welcome your imperfections, allow you to be what you are, and to do what makes you happy. This is something priceless.

Their value in your life

What if the sun doesn’t shine anymore?

Okay, let’s avoid being philosophical here. You understand that how much valuable these people are and what they mean to you. Your most valuable asset, your life, is being spent with them. And if they can make your life great, their space in your story is unquestionable.

These people put more into your life, than what they might take away from you. They are meant to stay with you…forever.

But how would you know who are the best people in your life?

If your feelings answer from within, and make you feel good about someone, then it’s the first thing which initiates your search for the best people in your life.

Yet, these are some particular characteristics of these wonderful people.
  • They are always there for you. No matter what might be the circumstances, they will be present to catch you when you are about to fall.
  • They inspire you to be a better human with their own deeds and end up changing you. You cannot escape the miracles of their goodness.
  • They accept you the way you are and don’t make you feel worthless. They show you the better side of yourself and make you believe that you deserve everything in this world.
  • They are genuine and true to you, and would hardly give you a chance to doubt them. Being dishonest isn’t on their list.
  • They criticize you only to improve you. They don’t claim that you are flawless and know the proper way of getting you on the right track.
  • They try to be with you and would not miss a chance to do so. A few tiny quarrels or misunderstandings cannot drive them away.
  • They know you more than others. It makes it easier for them to help you and rescue you from your problems.
  • They teach you what they know, and share their wisdom and knowledge with you.
  • They always want you to rise and would make every possible effort to contribute to your successes.
  • They always want you to be happy and try to make it possible with the little things which they do for you.

After learning so much, it shouldn’t be difficult for you to recognize those people. And the reason why they are meant to be forever with you is that you cannot afford losing them ever.

One little thing which I want you to do

Know what? Nothing lasts forever.

Even if playing and giggling with your dear ones might seem ordinary to you, it is far more valuable than what you think. Try to know how much their smile means to you, and then make every attempt to keep it. But till then here’s a simple thing which I want you to do.

“Tell your people that how much they mean to you”

No excuses for this one. Do it even if it might seem a bit indifferent to you. I will bring a meaningful difference in your life, and will take away a kind of burden off your heart. It’s worth it.

Conclusion

Some people have the ability to change your life. Try to know who they are and make your best attempts to keep them. They are the ones who are meant to be with you. Forever.

How do you know the best people in your life? Share something with me maybe. Leave a comment.

5 Fears Which Don’t Let You Act on Your Dreams

Fears Which Don't Let You Act on Your Dreams
“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” – Plato

It has been a few years since I’ve started working on my dream of becoming a writer. But now when I look back at the point where I had started, I wonder how I had even managed to start.

I don’t live in the midst of successful people having cheerful faces, who have achieved what they had once dreamed of, or who would inspire me to do the same. Instead, I doubt whether such people really exist apart from the ones whom I have seen on the television screen or read about in some books. I don’t see more than a handful of them.

To me, sometimes it seems like dreaming is a sin.

Why? Because the world makes me think so, people make me feel the same, and my insecurities are enough to end it all.

But I manage to go on, somehow, because my heart doesn’t understand such practical things. What I’ve learned is that we can survive failures with more ease than the guilt of not working on our dreams.

What our heart wants

  • It wants us to trust our faith more than our critics.
  • It wants us to take a leap even if it knows that we may fall.
  • It wants me us to give a shot, regardless of how good or bad we are.
  • It wants us to overcome our limitations by trying our best.
  • It doesn’t want us to quit before trying.
  • It doesn’t want us to accept being losers without pursuing our dreams.

Above all, it wants us to do the work which makes us happy, not for someone else but for ourselves.

In my journey till now, I’ve realized that what matters the most are our efforts. Though the outcome is crucial too, our work gives us the biggest contentment.

It doesn’t matter whether you succeed or fail, no one will be able to deny one fact – you tried your best.

In that case, even failures look equal to successes, because whatever be the results, they are because of our sincere work.

However, even when you start working on your dreams, you know that you might not be able to succeed. Neither is there any assurance that people would bother to help you.

But one thing cannot be denied – whatever you do will still make you happy, and that’s what matters the most. You will find a plenty of people who are experiencing the joys of chasing their dreams.

However, you will also come across the tribe of people who think that their dreams or ideas won’t ever work. These people are the ones who have already found some practical reasons and excuses for not working on their dreams.

In other words, they’ve decided to not ever start, and have also decided to fail by default.

You will often see such people talking about where and what they want to be, and also why they aren’t being what they want to be. Some among these are the ones who are really great at what they want to do and even deserve the opportunity to make their dreams into a reality.

But they won’t be able to make it until they start. What’s the point in being able when you don’t use your ability?

You might be among them too, if you haven’t started yet.

There’s one major thing which prevents people from starting for years, sometimes for a  lifetime – it’s fear. Here’s a list of 5 most common fears which every dreamer has to deal with.

1. Fear of starting

If you’re thinking about giving your best, making your dreams a reality but feeling almost paralyzed at the same time, then you’re not alone.

Even if we feel that we’re different from the rest, we aren’t. All other dreamers face the same kind of anxiety which is enough to drive anyone crazy. The ones who overcome it start in spite of the obstacles they need to tackle. And the ones who allow it to overpower themselves are left behind.

Starting is also the scariest part because it demands our trust while we are ourselves unsure of what we’re doing. However, like every other successful and content human, we need to start somewhere. Everything follows it later, whether it’s growth, success, ideas or something else.

2. Fear of being imperfect

The moment I gathered my courage, held a pen, and tried to write something, a voice inside me yelled that what I do won’t be that good.

“There are already thousands like me sitting out there who are doing the same thing, and there’s no more space for a novice like me,” I could hear my inner-critic say. I could’ve stopped at that moment and gave up forever, but I tried to ignore my imperfections and wrote my first short story, The Wishful Stone.

If I would’ve given up at that moment then it would’ve also lost my faith. Today, if I could be thankful about the one thing which I did in that particular moment was not holding myself back and doing what I could.

We all start as imperfect fellows. Slowly these imperfect beings try, learn, and put in their best to get closer to perfection, and that’s what makes them great.

Although we think we aren’t perfect, we get a chance to get closer to perfection. Each day. Making attempts to become perfect instead of quitting and scaring yourself to hell by thinking that you are not ready yet.

3. Fear of failure

Not doing something because you think you might fail doesn’t make sense. Not even gods can assure you success if you aren’t willing to take charge for yourself. Both your failures and successes make you better by teaching you, so shouldn’t you even expect failures?

You can only control your efforts, which in some way also means controlling the results. How good it would be if you could always win. Though, that’s not possible.
The remedy?
Always be prepared to embrace both failures and successes. Take a step further, risk being a loser, and start anyway.

4. Fear of rejection

Fear of rejection is the enemy of expression.

Our minds are filled up with questions which need to be abandoned at some point, because if we don’t, they become our biggest obstacles.

“I’ll somehow manage to write a book, but what if nobody likes it?” was one of those questions which haunted me each day. This was only one among hundreds of other questions I had in my mind. I had developed an habit of hammering myself with my flaws during those days. In some way, starting was always harder. But what I’ve learned after that is once you overcome that mindset, right things start happening to you.

We don’t speak the words which we think, we don’t perform the tasks that feel like doing, and then regret about not being our actual selves.

Nothing can make you happy if you snatch from yourself your real identity for the sake of being liked by others. Try to be what you are, even if you doubt that you aren’t good enough. It’s better than doing nothing or being fake.

When you’re a dreamer, you also have to be a rebel and break some rules. This might even mean doing something against the conventions which the world has set for you, escaping your limitations and what you think is right even when your people you against you to prove yourself right.

You can all this only if you overcome your fear of rejection.

5. Fear of  the unseen

“What lies beyond this?” is the kind of question which will always be there. Your insecurity forces you to reflect on your actions and asks you to check whether you are going astray in spite of the fact that it doesn’t make any difference. We dreamers don’t really know what we’re doing sometimes.
 
The road that leads you towards your goals is always blurred, and it unfolds it’s mysteries as you keep progressing on it with your actions. Eventually, you discover the unknown and soon become familiar with that creepy feeling which tries stopping you, and also learn to deal with it.

Wait for the suspense to break. What lies beyond is marvelous. You won’t ever get to know about the unseen unless you try to discover it. Your destination is right out there, it has something for you, but you won’t ever know about it if you quit.

Fears of Dreamers - Life Infographic

Conclusion

No matter how much insecure or awkward you feel – start.

Even if you think you cannot do something – try.

If you think you should be doing it – do it.
If you need to know something else, your heart is always there to guide you.
 

Dreaming isn’t only about expressing your materialistic desires or discussing impractical ideas endlessly. It’s about starting small somewhere and doing what is hard enough to be imagined.

The dreams that make you restless won’t ever happen unless you start.

Do you have a dream? Would you mind sharing it in the comments? What is it that often stops you and what is it that inspires you to go on? Let me know in the comments.

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How Thinking About Death Can Improve Your Life

 How Thinking About Death Can Improve Your Life
“I have no money, no resources, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive.” – Henry Miller

While you are looking at this screen and reading my words, I’d like to ask you a question.

Are you alive?

I am willing to know if you can answer me with a “yes.”

By using the word alive I’m not mentioning your physical existence but your whole life and every aspect of it. Wait and feel this breathe which you are taking in right now.

Recall some of the best experiences of your life when you felt like things were perfect and just couldn’t get better.

Does that make you smile? If not, recall something better. That was the time when you were alive. The time which was priceless.

Now focus on your current life. Is it the same or has something changed? I don’t whether you are as happier as you were then, but I guess that things might have changed a lot.

If you’re still as much happy as you used to be, then its a blessing. But if you aren’t, then there’s a reason behind it – life changes.

Life doesn’t always remain the same

Life changes unexpectedly. It’s unpredictable. You can’t even tell what might happen in the next moment.

In our lifetime, we face successes and failures, we feel joys and sorrows, sometimes we lose our loved ones or meet some new people, we go through financial barriers, and yet we manage to carry on somehow.

As they say – life goes on.

But I have a disagreement with that phrase. I don’t want life to just go on, instead I wish we could live every second of our lives. I also know that isn’t possible, but to some extent it can be done.

We’ve got this life to live, not just to exist and let it pass.

Sometimes I think we’re dead even if we claim to be alive. Our heart keeps beating just like the clock keeps ticking, without any difference. With every passing beat and tick, we lose life. We all pass our life pretty much like that.

Sometimes we aren’t really living

Everyone dies at some point in life. Not really though. But don’t our pains kill us by making our lives seem meaningless?

You die when you face the worst tragedies imaginable, when you have no control over what happens to you, or when when you’re forced to live in despair due to some painful incident. Yes you die when life seems to have no value of its own.

There comes a point when you feel like your being alive or dead doesn’t even make any difference. However, you still deserve to live with a head held high and can proudly wear a smile on your face.

After all, you don’t want to be wondering about how you had wasted the one life which you had got while lying on your deathbed. It might be your worst regret ever and you won’t even get a second chance to correct it.

You aren’t really living if

  • You are too busy judging people and don’t even make any minor attempts to understand them.
  • You don’t appreciate the small things in life and keep waiting for the heaven of your dreams.
  • You seek the wrong and unworthy things, and hardly recognize the worth of the ones which you’ve got.
  • You have got enough excuses for not doing things, and blames for the outcomes too.
  • You waste your time in proving yourself to others, even though it is useless.
  • You take criticism too seriously and ultimately lose your motivation for moving on further.
  • You don’t trust yourself and are easily shaken by the outer voices.
  • You quit before you dare to start and don’t take the leap of faith.
  • You don’t think that you’re born with a right to inspire, and keep yourself from bringing a change in others lives.
  • You keep waiting for your someday to arrive, and don’t even start.
  • You always underestimate your own identity, and keep waiting to be liked by others.
  • You hold yourself back due to lack of resources, and fail to take a stand for yourself or others.
  • You always keep comparing yourself to others, and then become stressed.
  • You don’t really define every term in your life, and look at things as they have already been defined by the world.
  • You don’t understand the value of  having values, and don’t have any principles of your own.
  • You don’t really have any priorities, and fail to hold on to what you value the most.

“What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other?”
– George Eliot

Life is quite a big term itself. The above mentioned points signify just a tiny part of it.

But if you would ask me to summarize these in a short sentence, then it would be – do what makes you and others smile.

If both the cases contradict, use your wisdom to find a way out and do what is right. If you say that you’re alive, mean it. If that seems something difficult, try to do whatever you can to live happily.

Think about death

I’m not going to remind you that you are going to die. You already know that. Everyone dies.

Now tell me whether you want to be among those people who don’t realize the value of their life until death looks at them in the eye? Probably not.

We have a bad habit of taking our life for granted. We behave as if we are immortal.

You cannot really predict that which of your goodbyes will be the last, or what will be your last breakfast. At any moment death might strike you like a thunderstorm, and you still live as if you are unaware of this fact.

Think that it is now. The moment when you are going to die.You are unable to breathe, your heart is choking, you are losing control over your body, and want to escape this feeling somehow but you can’t.

You are thinking about everything that you will leave behind, your family, friends, money, hard work, respect, and much more.

You are thinking of your regrets, conflicts, relations, and some other things which you had made by yourself.

There are still some tasks which you feel are left undone. Still some words which are left unsaid. You want to tell some people words like “thank you” and “sorry.” You also want to clear some misunderstandings but you cannot do that.

Now while you are dying in this moment, you try to define your whole life within a few seconds which you have got, but can you? Maybe you’ll know the meaning and value of your life in that moment, but what’s the use of it now?

Yes you might die in peace, but wouldn’t it have been better if you had lived in peace?

You stay helpless like a loser, aware of the truth that everything’s gone now. You can’t move or say anything anymore. All you can do is to wait for the second of your departure.

You slowly experience some kind of blankness in your body, your eyelids get closer to each other and hiding what you can see, against your will, a drop of tear rushes out from the corner of you eye and then…silence. A full stop at the end of the whole journey of your life.

Over.

This was your life, which you get once, and which you lose once. The thing which was most valuable to you got snatched at once.

But guess what? You are lucky enough to be alive. You are able to read this, and still have a lot of time left to do your own thing and give your life a meaning. Come back to reality, doesn’t everything look anew after knowing what death might be like?

Now learn to live

Don’t be among those people who will try to find the meaning of their life at the last moment of their death. Instead make it meaningful from this moment. Turn your life where you want it to go, and put in it everything that makes it look beautiful to you.

Exploit every second and kill every moment. Give your life the value which it deserves by making everything the best for yourself.

Conclusion

The thought of death makes you realize the value of life. It makes you appreciate every breath which you have been bestowed with, and inspires you to make your life more meaningful.

Do you think that the thought of death can somewhat inspire a regard for life? What is it that inspires you to live your life to the fullest?

I’d be happy if you take some time to leave a comment.

Don’t Take Yourself and Life Too Seriously – Everyone Is an Idiot Here

“I kept a diary right after I was born.
Day 1: Tired from the move.
Day 2: Everyone thinks I’m an idiot.”

– Steven Wright

Has it ever happened to you that something made you feel like you’re the only idiot in this whole world until you met someone who made you realize that you weren’t alone?

Then you might have high-fived each other and said in surprise “you too?”

How bad is that moment when you feel like an idiot, and how great is the one when you know that everyone else is too.

Let me clear it,

“Idiocy is one of the fundamental qualities of all humans”

No matter how much sincere and disciplined you think the person next to you is, he is too an idiot. The same is with all other people.

You don’t need to feel like a retard when something goes wrong, neither you need to apologize for simple silly mistakes which you make, and nor do you need to wonder about whether everyone else thinks if you really are one.

Examples:

1. What do you think is the reason why people laugh at memes?
There’s a mutual stupidity which we all have in common, and that makes us laugh at stupid things. How stupid!

2. Have you ever observed people smiling without a reason? Well, they have a reason though. They smile for some crazy reasons and memories. After all, no one would laugh at the ordinary memories.

3. One more fact is that we like craziness. There’s hardly anything which is enjoyed as much as craziness. The strictness of an army, the brilliance of a scientist, or the craziness of your foolish friend, what would be a better reason behind your laughter among these?

There isn’t anything which can be used to measure the idiocy of humans. However, there’s one quality of humans which makes some people seem disciplined and sincere while others stupids.

It’s all about how much one expresses – yes you read it right. Let me repeat again, stupidity is just a matter of how much one expresses.

Suppose that you were watching a Superman movie and wondering why the superhero wears his underwear on his pants, alright?

Now others too might be thinking the same thing.

But just in case you ask the question that why does he wear underwear on his pants, who would be regarded as an idiot? Obviously you. You may even become the temporary clown and a good subject to laugh at.

Even others were thinking about what was going on in your head, but just because you expressed it, you were taken as an idiot, you see?

But expressing cannot make you an idiot, and neither hiding it make you a genius.

If you are an idiot, just know it

Do you know who is an actual idiot? The one who thinks that he’s not.

If you are an idiot, just know it. Don’t say you aren’t. Everyone is.

I don’t have any specific reason to tell you to be an idiot. But what I’m explaining is that even if you behave like one you don’t become one.

A little bit of Idiocy adds spice to life. If being somewhat an idiot can make you happy, be one.

“I’m not afraid to look like an idiot.” – Anthony Bourdain

If you are an idiot and you know it, then you’re not an idiot.

Should you be an idiot too?

Now let’s get a bit real. Do you enjoy idiots that much?

I’ll assume that you’ve said “Not that much.” If you answered “yes!” then I’ll suppose that you must be an idiot too and just ignore you.

Okay fine, I too agree that being an idiot is cool at times, and that everyone enjoys it. We all  love being idiots, but not always.

The world is already suffering due to the fools that exist. They’re intolerable and growing each day. Wait.. I guess that I’ve already created a lot of confusion.

To be an idiot or to be not is the question

If you are being an idiot, be less of it, and prevent becoming a total irritating jerk. That’s all.

Use your stupidity as table salt, always in proper proportion. Because some of it will always be useful for your humor, happiness, and for the people around you.

Conclusion

If you feel like an idiot, just know that everyone else is too. Idiocy is both your friend and foe. But if you use it wisely, then even this silly thing can add smiles to your life.
Be an idiot, somewhat.

Why You Need to Take a Stand in Life

Take a Stand in Life

“Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.”
– Alexander Hamilton

Take a stand – three words which are deeper in their meaning than what they seem.

At once they signal you to do something about what you’re going through right now. Taking a stand is about being more responsible.

Whenever you are asked to take a stand, it may mean this:

  • To tolerate uselessness and endure failures no more.
  • To rise for yourself and others.
  • To do something to rescue yourself from the hell you are living in.
  • To take control of things those are going on.
How bad it feels when we fail to take stand. It makes us feel like an utter loser and fills us with guilt. Also, not taking a stand for the things we care becomes a regret for tomorrow. So isn’t it better to be fair on our own side, right now?

Start with doing these things. You’ll feel better.

  • Have the courage to do the activities which you want to do.
  • Dare to do the things which you fear to do.
  • Start what you often think about but don’t due to your fears, doubts and excuses.
  • Raise you voice against what is unjust.
  • Don’t step back when you’re right.
  • Be dedicated, trust yourself more than your critics, and shut your critics with your work.

The price of standing of yourself and others

It isn’t cheap. Not everyone can dare to prove people wrong or stand firmly even after facing the opposition of crowds. 

It isn’t a common scene that people stay happy with your decisions and agree with you always. It is impossible to be universally right. You cannot please everyone.

It’s not that you are going to face resistance in whatever you do. But most the time – you will. Sometimes the circumstances will be like you v/s the world.

That will be the time when your faith will guide you to do the right thing. You won’t care about some frowning faces which will have a problem with your being right or wrong according to them.

Why you need to take a stand

When you take a stand, you do it for yourself. Even if you do it for others, you’re actually doing it for yourself, because your heart wants you to do it. It gives you the freedom to be like you and live by your own terms.

It is about breaking the chains which you think you’re bound by, and rising for yourself when you think that you’ve had enough. Taking a stand is among those few of those things which make your life worth living.

The reward

What does breathing feel like? That will be the exact kind of feeling which you’ll get when you’ll take a stand for doing something right.

The rituals made by this world, slavery created by people, feelings of being helpless, and then not having the self-trust which can make you do things, are the things which make your life a suffocation. Taking a stand is also about escaping this suffocation.

You won’t realize this feeling unless you take a stand.

Conclusion

Change things before you feel the self-pity for being helpless.

Take control, stop being weak. Be brave. The moment your instinct tells you that “something needs to be changed,” change it.
Be the first person who helps you – take a stand.

Seek the Right Things in Life, Because You Only Get What You Seek

We Only Get What We Seek

“What we seek we shall find; what we flee from flees from us.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

We think a lot over various topics, tasks, and dreams. Becoming confused and getting lost is a part of the process. When we get stuck in situations where we need to rescue ourselves and find out a way to make things better, our optimism is challenged.

This is when our ability to control our thoughts is tested. Our mind fills up with terror and negative thoughts automatically enter our mind. We lose our calm and it becomes difficult for us to focus.

However, these thoughts aren’t always effects of outer surroundings or circumstances, but rise from within.

These are a few examples of how people find what they seek:

• A philosopher seeks truth and he finds it.

• A businessman seeks new ideas and innovations which could profit him and he finds them.

• All search for the right people and friends and then they end up finding them.

• When we seek either solutions or problems, we find them too.

• A miner seeks gold or diamonds and finds them.

• A diver seeks pearls in the oceans and finds them.

There are several other examples which can be given. But I don’t wish to be practical but rather philosophical here. Because here I am talking about the thinkers – what we all are, because we think.

This is what I’m talking about:

We often develop a negative outlook unconsciously, which affects us by preventing our growth and controlling our thoughts.

We never want to think negatively, no one wants to think negatively. However, negative thoughts are inevitable at most of the times.

Wait, I’m not switching the topic. What I’m talking about here are thoughts. The positive ones which can be thought of, and the negative ones which can be ignored.

Exactly this,

• When we think – we fear.
• When we dream – we doubt.
• When we face a crisis – we think of worse.
• When we are weak – we worry about our weaknesses even more.
• When we are vulnerable – we try to know the dangers that follow us.

Aren’t we unknowingly seeking the things which decay us, make us weak, and pull us down, when we could be seeking for the good instead.

What I mean to say is this:

• Why fear, when we can be courageous.
• Why think negative, when we can think positive.
• Why doubt, when we can believe.
• Why to feel weak, when we can be strong.
• Why be pessimists, when we can be optimists.
• Why to see the bad, when we can see the good.
• Why to be a critic, when we can still find something worth appreciating.
• Why to seek problems, when we can find the solutions.

You see? We really find what we seek in life.

If we’re so powerful and capable of gaining what we want, why not aim for the best instead of living being trapped by our timidness?

Conclusion

You really find what you seek, so rather seek good. Believe in yourself and keep your curiosity to discover the good alive. Although you may think that you don’t always get what you dream and wish for, you get it.

But if you aim too little, you only get what you had sought for.

How to Deal with Inferiority Complex

How to Deal With Inferiority Complex

Inferiority complex is a word which I mostly use while motivating people to trust themselves when they feel low. Sometimes people are like “what complex?”

So let me tell you its meaning before I elaborate it further.

Dictionary Says – Unconscious feelings of insignificance and insecurity hidden by excessively aggressive or compensatory behavior.

In Short – It’s the lack of self-confidence or self-esteem.

My reason for writing this post

A few days back, I was having a chat with my niece. She was messaging me about how she felt diffident while being with her classmates who were at a higher status than that of hers, and whether I could suggest her some cure for that.

Having come from a middle class background and suddenly having to stay with those ‘classy people’ must have surely been a difficult job for her. She wasn’t that serious though, and was just having a general talk.

I sent back a few encouraging messages to make her feel better and went offline.

However, this conversation left my thoughts a bit uncomfortable for the next few minutes. This probably would’ve been because I’ve undergone the same kind of situations several times.

I kept thinking about this feeling which we get for being lower than someone else financially, socially, or in some other aspect, and some if some solution for it existes.

In this life of ours, we owe no one anything. Then why do we suffer from these thoughts which make us feel unworthy repeatedly?

My Personal Experiences

In my case, there have been many occasions on which I felt a lack of self-confidence. Though, some of those feelings were the ones that are common among all people.

1. Remember when you stepped inside a mall the first time?

Well, I clearly remember that day when I had visited a mall during my sixth grade, and the first question which I asked my cousin was “will they charge us for the entry?” “No, it’s free,” he replied. Malls weren’t a common thing in our city 8 years ago, and as a child I used be more insecure.

But as soon as we entered that huge building with high-class interiors, modern products, and lavish shelves, I felt inferior.

There were people hanging around and playing with things in the sports section, whereas I even feared to touch something. I walked around there like a simpleton, slowly discovering various places and still thinking if any of the employees would ask me what I was doing there.

2. My school building was divided in two schools. Where one side was for the SSC board students (common ones) and the other was that of ICSE (the extraordinary).

During those days we weren’t much familiar with the difference both, but some students had spread a hoax that, “What we learn here in eighth standard, is taught there in just fifth standard!” due to which everyone started seeing the ICSE students as Gods or celebrities.

Whenever a situation arose where students of both schools had to stand together, my classmates and I felt like fools. Even the fifth standard boy standing next to us would seem as smart as Isaac Newton. Because he was studying in the fifth grade what we were being taught in eighth! Though not really.

3. Some years ago, computer games were crazily popular among my friends. Each day during free time they’d talk about their scores, cheat sheets, and other stuff, while I would confusedly stare their faces.

I couldn’t join them because I didn’t have a computer, which means that I was naturally kept from participating with them. Now I don’t need to tell that it felt bad, do I?

These above examples were just to remind you that everyone goes through such circumstances, and there’s no need for feeling bad if you’ve been through the same kind of humiliation.

Till now, I’ve confronted many such people who suffer from inferiority complex, and each one of them has a different reason to tell. I too have a lot of experiences.

These people include some of my classmates who have migrated from village, acquaintances who aren’t much literate, and several others.

The Actual Problem

Want to know the actual problem?

The problem is that we think there’s some problem with the world, when it’s actually hiding somewhere within us.

We have ourselves created a kind of mindset, totally filled with insecurities, due to which we fear to express ourselves.

I understand that it isn’t easy to not feel low, but we cannot overcome our insecurities without changing ourselves either. Once you overcome the mindset which makes you think of yourself as low, there won’t be any kind of inferiority complex which could stop you from living your life at your fullest.

  • Even if hanging around with rich people makes you feel poor, overcome that feeling, and try to be as much real as you can. Be like you.

  • The smarter people around you aren’t a threat to your existence. Instead of feeling dumb, try to mingle with them as much as you can and learn from them instead.

  • Try to become comfortable with all kinds of people and environments. There’s no need at all to feel that you are lesser than anyone.

A Solution

I wish that there was some other solution for it, apart from changing ourselves. But there isn’t.

However, here I’m listing the three root causes of inferiority complex. Like a disease known is half-cured, a problem understood is half solved.

Comparison

Stop comparing yourself to others. There no reason to do so.

There can only be two outcomes of comparison:

1. You’re better (Who cares?)
2. You’re worse (Look, the problem started).
 
So rather focus on improving yourself and keep the habit of comparing yourself to others aside.

Fear of being judged

Don’t you sometimes feel like the center of attraction? Just thinking that you are being noticed can create a lot of insecurity, but stay calm.

Don’t manipulate your words and actions due to the fear of being judged. You’re a way better when real. People have a lot of other important things going in their lives, so there are hardly any chances of your being judged.

Lack of self-esteem

Self-esteem can be easily increased by taking actions, and developing a positive thinking habit.

Overcome your limitations and try to work on the things that make you feel timid. Don’t ever try to do something which lowers your image in your own eyes.

As soon as you’ll start taking actions, confidence will follow. Be impeccable.

Trust Yourself

No explanations. Just trust yourself. You deserve that.

  • Find out what you’re great at and feel good about it.
  • Stop focusing on limitations that stop you, but also work on overcoming them.
  • Be sure that your voice is firm enough to stand against the criticism of others.
  • Trust your actions, beliefs, and plans.
  • The moment you’ll start trusting yourself, nothing will be able to make you feel less than what you are.

Conclusion

Inferiority complex is a problem which is capable of preventing you from living at your fullest. You don’t owe anyone anything, then why to think of yourself as something inferior in this world?

Comparison, fear of being judged, and a lack of self-esteem feed your inferiority complex. Get rid of them. You can get over it by working on your thoughts, and taking actions which favor your self belief.

When You Make Something But it Already Exists

Usually we try to keep our creations as original as possible, and need to come up with new ideas so that we can have something gorgeous that can surprise, please and serve others.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re an entrepreneur finding a new strategy for your business, an artist experimenting with your art, a scientist trying to invent something new or just another person figuring out new ways to do things in a better way.

It always happens.

There’s a natural urge within us which forces us to innovate something new each time. Its a kind of desire that urges us to do something off the track and leave a mark of our unique identity by creating masterpieces.

We put in our blood and sweat to produce another wonderful thing which could replace what could break the conventional ways. Or at least, set a new standard apart from the things which aren’t different.

This is the reason why DaVinci painted Mona Lisa, Zuckerberg started Facebook, and also why Ford invented cars for the masses. They craved to create something better and innovate.

We’re similar. The ones who want to come up with new ideas which can change the existing rituals.

How often does it happen that we really create such a thing? Not so often.

To me, sometimes it seems like that all the good things that can be thought of already exist, and there’s hardly anything left for us to be discovered. Though, I said “it seems,” instead of “it is.”

Which means that there will always be a plenty of space for new things which will take birth. And as usual, change will charm the world. Now  let me talk about the heart of this matter.

Can you recall the last time you made something? You must have obviously created something, regardless of what your field is.

It could’ve been your science project, a presentation or art. I don’t even know about the fascinating thing which you have made. But I can bet on one truth that you had tried to make it the best.

Hadn’t you?

And how do I know that?
Because everyone including you and me has the same thoughts while making something.

After all, no one thinks about creating anything mediocre. As we go on creating, we realize that what we do isn’t very special. There are thousands of people like us who create millions of things like that of ours. Soon we feel that what we make or do isn’t much deserving. This one thought is enough to drag you down.

You think you’re unworthy? You’re not.

You think what you do isn’t that great? It is.

You think that there are thousands of other people who can do your work better than you? They can’t. Even if they can, there’s no reason it should stop you from doing what you want to.

Do you know why is what you do so special? Because you do it. When you do something, your work reflects you.

When you do what you want to do:

•  It shows that you are ascending towards your dreams.
•  It shows that you’re not only willing, but doing too.
•  It shows that you’re learning.
•  It shows that you haven’t stopped yet.

Above all, it shows that even if right now you aren’t doing anything earth shattering, you will, very soon.

It often happened to me and to those around me that whenever we discussed our ideas about something new, we realized that we weren’t even able to imagine. Such is the reality.

Even in the midst of our silliest conversations, we laughed about how we couldn’t think of a unique thing that awaits to be invented or imagined by us.

Gravity? Newton has already discovered it.
Time machine? Dude, even Doraemon has it.
Wireless smartphone input application? Well tried boy, but there’s already an app in the market for that.

Umm…well, is there anything left for us too? Or are we too late?

Nope, Its never too late.

The world is ever progressing. So, it is hard to believe that there’s any limitation, because there isn’t any.

Each year, theaters show hundreds of movies with the same age old genres like sci-fi, romance, tragedy, etc. and yet they attract crowds of people because each time they come with some new ways to astound the audiences.

Also, when people were getting bored of ordinary age old music, Rap and Rock took birth.

Apart from these, there are several other examples you may find around yourself which represent the never-ending cycle of innovation.

So how should you feel when you make something similar to what already exists?

If you too are among the millions who make something or come up enthusiastically with a new idea, but then realize that what they did isn’t unique from the ones that already exist, then you aren’t meant to feel bad.

You may feel the guilt of being a copycat, or inferior for not being up to your expectations.

Such thoughts can decrease your motivation at once and severely affect your work. You may even start to see quitting as a better option than trying harder. But don’t fall prey to such futility. Keep on trying until your efforts pay off (they do) and you become capable of producing your own unusual creations.

That’s the actual way in which innovation takes its root – by being persistent, working on presently available ideas, searching for somewhat off the track, and by not giving up until you become what you should be.

The same kind of things happen to everyone. It often happens that I make quote after thinking for a long time, and then search on Google to check if it already exists so that no one could question the authenticity of my writing.

But to my surprise, some quotes out there are quite similar to mine. So I drop them and try to create some new ones again. It goes on in the same way until I create something different.

Don’t hesitate to move further on the path of your dreams, even when you cannot value your work anymore. You’ll soon earn what you deserve as hard work never stays without bringing results.

Conclusion
Manage to carry on with your good work in spite of feeling that what you do isn’t anything different or is incapable of bringing results.
Everyone starts from zilch. The ones who give up are kept from achieving their goals, and the ones who somehow manage to learn and grow get the opportunity of doing big things.

What Staying in the Background Can Teach You About Work

Stay in the Background
You might have heard the word anonymous. The one which also means nameless, unknown, and faceless. This word isn’t much weird, but if you think more deeply about it, it is.
I’ve been curious about it. Almost always. To me, it represents a mystery. An untold story.

In my school, when I read the words such as Anon and Anonymous written below some short stories and poems in my textbooks, I often wondered about who those faceless people were.

At that time, before I knew the actual meaning of the word, I used to think that Anon was some really cool writer. When I read something with the word anon below it, I always thought “Wow! Anon is a cool writer.”

But as I grew up, I came to know that Anon was simply a name given to those “faceless people” not having an identity.

What it means to be a nobody

How painful it is to be nobody. To work as hard as you can and discover that nobody knows what you did. To create something  and let others take the credit for it. To hide yourself in the shadows when you’re the one on whom the spotlight should shine.

Yes, it can be painful.

Yet, there are people who put their blood and sweat in their creations. Who do something remarkable with their hard work and then hide behind the mask of anonymity. These people are sometimes those who are left or just  prefer to stay in the background.

Why do they prefer to stay in the background? Walk into their shoes and you’ll know.

Staying in the background isn’t always bad

  • One of the first thoughts which struck my mind when I saw the photos of freedom fighters in my history books  was, “Are these people all?  What about the rest?” After all, there were many other dedicated people who had sacrificed their lives for the country as well. Though nobody knows about them. Has their contribution become useless just because their faces don’t appear in my history books or because no one knows about them? Never.
  • On several occasions I’ve come to know about people who flaunt socially about how much they earn and make attempts to highlight themselves. They brag about the donations and try to build the base of their reputation on it. I also know some generous people who silently keep up their good work and donate without uttering a word about it to anyone. Is the contribution of the latter ones useless?
  • Then there are others, the ones like you and me who do little things to make the world a better place. Not everything we do is known. Though we keep on doing nice work. Do we cease to do good just because no one notices? We don’t.

Maybe you don’t always need to get noticed

Success isn’t about staying at the center of attraction, getting credit, or being praised for your work. Sometimes, what you do for serving people is far greater than the biggest achievements. There are thousands in the queue who are dying to get noticed, you don’t always need to be among them.

I wrote my first guest post which was about 1700 words, mailed it to the fellow blogger, and asked him to keep my name anonymous. Just because I wanted to walk my talk before I writing this post.

That post still shows ‘By – Guest contributor’ instead of my name. Maybe that post would’ve have sent me some new readers, or it could’ve spread.

But there was something which I realized by doing it – with a name or without it, we can always serve. Even now when I look at that simple post, I realize that even if I’m anonymous there, my work isn’t.

It’s not wrong to make attempts to get some attention. Better if that helps you achieve your dreams. But your desire for attention shouldn’t become an obstacle to your success. Keep your dreams and work above everything, because outcomes are a cheap way of measuring dreams.

What staying in the background can teach you about work

Ever saw a drama? There are the actors on the grand stage, dressed in beautiful costumes, saying all the witty dialogues and gaining everyone’s affection. In the end of the show they take away all the credit and praises.

What about the make-up man, the costume designer, the decorator and the cleaner? They celebrate in silence behind the curtains.

Their success isn’t defined by the applause which they never get, but rather by their contribution to their work. Same thing happens in movies. No one reads the credits.

Staying in the background makes you humble. It gives you an opportunity to peek from behind the backstage and see how others treat your work. In your heart, you know it was you who created something but didn’t get the credit.

However, when no one knows about you, outcomes don’t matter much to you, and you become more loyal to your work. You give away your craving for attention and praise. After that, you fall in love with your work and rediscover the reason why you had started in the first place.

Also, when you aren’t at the center of attention, you don’t take criticism as personal disgrace. Instead, you treat it as a feedback for your work and use it to improve yourself.

When you don’t get enough attention, you take yourself less seriously, become open to improvement, and treat your own work as you treat the work of others. Honestly, and without being partial towards yourself.

Conclusion

You don’t always need to be in the spotlight. Your work matters more than your aspiration of accomplishing something. Even when your efforts don’t get the necessary attention, they go on serving others.

For now, if you have a dream and your are working on it, then give up your craving for attention, praise and outcomes. Fall in love with what you do. Make attempts to get better at it. You’ll ultimately win all that you deserve.

One Thing Which a Passionate Person Won’t Ever Do

Are you passionate about something? If you say that you are, then I don’t doubt it.

Your passion may be anything from establishing the biggest online retail store in future, or becoming the next Michael Jackson. It can be anything. After all, who knows about your passion better than yourself? Obviously no one else other than you.

But what if you realize one day that you had chosen the wrong path, or were living a life led by illusions?

 

It isn’t hard to get trapped in false beliefs when there are so many voices around you which confuse you each day.

My reason behind writing this post

In my life till now, I have come across only a handful of people who have some specific or clear goals. The ones who aspire to bring a change and are hell bent on accomplishing what they aim for.

There are a few dreamers who take their dreams seriously.

What I find common in many people is that they pursue  some random idea and start working on it just because it seems attractive to them, regardless of whether they know it well, or whether they genuinely like it or not.

I don’t need to explain much about what happens to such people later. They soon get tired, lose enthusiasm, and realize the truth about their false belief when its too late.
There are no questions regarding the price which one has to pay for pursuing one’s passion. It takes a lot of hard work. Sometimes a lifetime.
So if you call something your dream or passion, make sure that it’s really your passion. Taking up any kind of work just because everyone else is doing it or because you are attracted to it temporarily, calling it your passion is a bad idea.
“True Passion isn’t driven by your desires, but pushed by the voice within”
You may be utterly disappointed if you shout out to the whole world about your fake passion, when you know in your heart that what you’re doing is nothing more than fooling yourself.
There’s one big truth which you ought to know about true passion – It cannot be faked.

True passion cannot be faked. Even if you somehow succeed and attain the highest place in what you have chosen, you won’t be much satisfied with the results. You’ll soon come to know that not only you had taken the wrong road but also have reached the wrong destination. The place where your being doesn’t give you joy.

However, since if you succeed at wrong things, you won’t miss your passion in the midst of your achievements. Yet, isn’t it better to be a bit keener from the beginning and reach the right place? It’s always worth it.

How a passion can be different from a dream

  • Every dreamer takes up a dream and lives it.
  • Slowly he faces difficulties and things turn out to be harder.
  • Yet the dreamer goes on and slowly changes some things and adapts himself to the changes.
  • Things either work out in his favor, or they don’t.
  • Either the dreamer succeeds, or he fails.
The above points show a simple outline of a dreamer’s life. But in case of a passionate person it’s slightly different. A dream and passion can be same at times, but not necessarily.

“A dream is something you wish to achieve, but a passion is what keeps you going.”

A person may give up on his dreams, but what about his passions? Will he give up on them too? He will never. If the person gives up, it simply means that the person wasn’t ever sincere about his passion. Or even if he was once a passionate, he didn’t have the courage to defend his passion against the odds and gave up.

The one thing which a passionate person won’t do

The one thing which a really passionate person won’t ever do is – Quitting

Quitting is what a passionate person would hesitate to do. He won’t quit even when all odds are against him. Not because it makes him a failure or for some other reason, but because to him, it means giving up the work which gave his life a purpose. What might be the cost of quitting for him? It means losing the reason behind his happiness. Forever.
So, his financial gains, successes, dreams and all aren’t greater than his passion.
Do you wonder why nightingales sing or why do honey bees collect honey? To me, this seems the same kind of thing. Passion is something which a person does for himself.
A passionate person does selflessly what he loves, and hence, always gives his best. To him, work matters more than the outcomes. Since a passionate person always gives his best, the outcomes are most likely to be fine.

You and your passion

If you are currently doing something and calling it your passion, then be sure that you aren’t faking it. That it’s really your passion.

If you don’t do any kind of work what you can call your passion, its okay.

But you don’t feed your fake passion. Everything requires dedication and sincere efforts, even if they are at a wrong place. So better spend and invest your hard work in the right work.

Conclusion

A passionate person won’t ever quit. A passionate person won’t give up because, to him the work matters more than the outcomes. His passion itself is what makes him happy.

If you have a passion, follow it. Not for some gains or pleasing others, but for yourself.
Do you have a passion? What do you think matters the most while working on your passions? Leave a comment.