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Vishal Ostwal

I Write About Life

Why You Should Stop Asking for Advice in Life

Stop Asking for Advice

“I respect the idea of accepting and exchanging advice. Still, I refuse to rely much on it. I’ve got some reasons for that.”

When it comes to asking for advice, I’m a normal person. I consult my close relatives before I dive into something. I email my mentors before making career decisions. It has significantly helped me gain a direction in life (to an extent).

Yet, I don’t always ask for advice.  I’ve got reasons for that. Sure, you can listen to those around you to gain the right perspective, but in the end it’s up to you to make the final calls.

So, why should one avoid asking for others’ advice? I’ve listed down a few reasons.

1. Make your own mistakes 

Making mistakes takes courage. Or stupidity. Sometimes both. You can’t be too careful and do as others tell you.

You won’t know what you’re doing without being on your own and making some foolish choices. You can’t remain too careful. Let nothing hold you back from creating the work you wish to do. The only lessons that stick are the ones that you teach yourself – everything else just fades and disappears.

2. Grasp your lessons well

Others’ experiences and lessons help.

But they’re mere suggestions, not some solid truths. You don’t know what’s true or false. Right or wrong. To figure that out, you need to learn your own lessons, methods, and ways of doing stuff. Also, what the point of living if you get everything served on a platter? There’s a thing about the hustle.

3. Same tricks don’t work

Someone did something and it worked. Cool, so what? Do you want the same steps for yourself? Wouldn’t happen. Times changes. The world develops. Things evolve. Nothing remains the same again.

There are no universal tricks or hacks. All you can do is work hard and figure out what works for you. Seek the path meant for you or make one.

4. Replicating others’ life is tedious

What’s the point in following someone else’s footprints? That’s like living somebody else’s life again. It’s a totally unappealing and boring idea, mostly because it prevents you from living a life you can discover yourself.

Appreciate feeling lost, the confusion, and the chaos. All of this exists for a reason – to create the story that’s yours.

5. Pick yourself up

You forget what books teach you. Not everything can be learned from people. The only wisdom that lasts is the one that you taught yourself. Invent your own keys for the locks in life.

No magical sage will appear. You won’t find a revelation that can fix everything, either. Good! At least you know that you’ve got work to do.

6. There’s a thing about figuring it out

It’s like solving one of those ‘path puzzles’ – you’re lost, but you don’t mind keep going. It’s fun, you appreciate it, and what matters to you is finding the way out by yourself.

Imagine if somebody else interrupted you and solved your puzzle. Not so fun, right? Own your life, don’t outsource it.  

7. Your path is different

Different than that of everybody. This is a decent thing, else, what’s the point in doing what’s been done to death?

Be proud that you find new ways, be hopeful even when you feel lost because everything makes sense in the end. A piece of external advice can’t guide you as your instincts can.

8. The journey counts more

You can get what you want – that’s the easier part, anyway. What makes it valuable is the work you put into the task.

The journey you take to accomplish something is what you’d remember. The end result would seem insignificant as compared to the efforts. The point? Own your journey. Live it. Make it yours, instead of mimicking someone else’s.

9. This is the only way, mostly

Risk and uncertainties are scary. Responsibility is huge when you have no trail to follow. Fine, you don’t need anyone’s manual. Allow yourself to be free. Fall and rise and fall … then rise again. That’s the only way to growth I’m aware of.

10. It’s a beautiful revelation

Your eyes need to see the magic unfold, so stop planning life and wait for your share of surprises – otherwise, life might seem like a dull oil lamp. It loses its charm.

Don’t be so excited to figure out everything at once. The right things happen at the right time. Until then, be patient enough savor life. Gaze at the stage and wait until the curtains to reveal what’s in it for you.

Remember

Ask for advice, listen to people, but stand on your own feet. It’s like paying attention to the road signs but choosing your own way … sort of. You got it.

Comments

dafey says:

This is lovely. I can reason with you

Glad you liked it, Dafey.

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