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Vishal Ostwal

I Write About Life

Want to Thrive in Life? Stop Asking the Wrong Questions

Each day, we ask so many questions. Sometimes to others, and other times to ourselves.
We don’t stop thinking or questioning. Though many of the questions which we ask are the results of our curiosity, several of them are just useless. Those questions are of the kind which aren’t of any use for sure.

Your questions can be categorized into several types if they had to be classified. Like the ones which arise due to your unawareness or maybe due to your misunderstandings.

 However all your questions have some underlying causes. Though these cause might not be apparent, they control you and make you ask the questions you ask.
Here’s something you might not be aware of – if you ask too many questions, the ones which don’t matter, you might get used to them and won’t even notice when they would start turning you into a coward.

Frequently questioning your actions and decisions is enough to hold yourself back and to justify your excuses. Enough to feed your doubts and fill yourself with fear and uncertainty.

Seeking Approval

  •  Should I do it?
  •  Will it benefit me?
  •  Will I succeed at it?

These are few of those questions which I used to ask myself whenever I decided to start a thing. Nowadays, I do it less.

There always comes a time when these questions start acting like roadblocks. If they succeed to get you, you get stuck in planning, but you’ll do nothing. Nothing that you thought you would do.
I often come across people who ask such questions. They want all the answers and assurance at once; even before starting.

But these questions mean nothing. They’re useless.
Once I started asking such things, I wondered what made me ask those. So I tried to find the cause of these questions. I introspected and dived deeper within my thoughts.
This was the answer I realized – my habit of questioning was actually a result of my insecurities and doubts.
Each time I questioned myself or paused when thinking about working on my goals, I felt an underlying emotion which said, “Somebody assure me that I’m doing the right thing. Please assure me that I’m not getting into trouble.”
You might have felt similar emotions echoing inside you. They exist in all of us. You cannot get rid of them either – but you can do something sensible – you can tackle them.
“Should I be a musician?” – Don’t ask others. Start making more music.
“Will my business succeed?” – No one can guarantee that. Wait and see how it goes.

Doubt Cleaners

  •  Am I good at it?
  •  Am I doing it in a right way?
Such questions arise after you start. You may somehow manage to begin a thing and work on it, yet you can’t always shut up your inner critic.
In such cases, you ask others to judge our work and request them give you some advice so as to clear the clouds of your doubts.
While you ask such questions, you may be right to do so – but not always. Its okay to do it sometimes. After all, nobody wants to do the wrong things or move aimlessly toward his dreams.

However, with your desperate habit of questioning, you wish to know whether you’re good enough; because you can only succeed when you’re fine. You also seek appreciation, even if unconsciously, because you want to believe that you’re skillful. It helps you to keep going on in the long run.

But you’re just hiding from the truth.

Your doubts are controlling you. You can’t be patient till you achieve your goals. Persistence is a tiring. So you find every possible way convince yourself that you’re great at what you do. This give you a sense of accomplishment, so you feel at peace and relax.

In reality, you might be awful at what you do. The people who say that you’re great might be lying just because they don’t want to disappoint you. Maybe your goals are a lot farther than you might have thought.

None of this matters.

Everyone sucks when starting out. Hard work is always the secret recipe to every success. It takes long for dreams to turn into reality. You already know all the truths. Perhaps, you want to pretend like you don’t see what is obvious.

Maybe you missed something.

You’re already good. Maybe not the best, but it’s alright. You can improve. You can achieve all the dreams you have planned for yourself and even master the work you do. You already know the road that stands before you.

So stop manipulating yourself.

Its just that you don’t choose to trust yourself, and leave the responsibility of discovering your weaknesses on others, instead of dealing with the painful affair. You don’t need to do that.

If you’re right, if you’re working hard – nothing can keep you away from what you’re aiming at.

Fear Builders
  •  Should I quit it?
  •  What if I fail?

This kind of questions do the final job of killing your dreams.

What if someone says “Yes” when you ask “Should I quit?” Will you give up on your dreams? Are you so insincere regarding what defines the purpose of your life? Are others’ beliefs much important to you than your own?

What I know is that you still need to go on your weary way, with the burden of your insecurities, imperfections, and every darn thing that stands on your way and tries to halt you. There’s no other way out.

One of the mistakes which you make by asking these questions is empowering your fears.

After which, you allow your weaknesses to win. You surrender yourself to your failures and stop trying. You murder your hopes and put an end to your journey.

Start asking the right questions

The next time question someone regarding how you feel or about you dreams, pause and reflect. Chances are you might be already aware of the reasons why you’re questioning and don’t want to admit the doubts and fears hiding somewhere deep within your thoughts.

Ask the right questions. The wrong ones can slowly poison your dreams to death.Be keen about what you ask to yourself.

Once you focus more on your work and start acting on your dreams, you won’t ask much questions. You’ll have become capable of clearing-off your doubts.

Conclusion

The pointless questions which you ask, empower your fears and doubts. They take birth when you stop believing in yourself, and fade away when you trust yourself. So, the next time you question, remember to reflect before you ask.
Start asking the right questions to yourself.
“What should be my next step?”
“What specific and small steps can I take to start working on my dream?”
“What inspires me to work better?”
You have plenty of opportunities around you, you dreams have a place for them in this world, and you can prosper each day. Sometimes, all you need to do is start asking the right questions.
Have you ever struggled with doubts and questions that keep holding you back? How do you cope up with them? I would like to hear from you. Leave a comment.


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