How to Not Manipulate Yourself

We gain clarity when we stop telling ourselves false stories.

As humans, we tend to convince ourselves into believing stories that we want to – about our outlook towards life, the principles that we live by, and the choices that we make.

But when life doesn’t go our way, we come up with convenient lies that echo what we want to believe.

We trick ourselves.

What causes this self-deception?

When the truth hurts, people turn to self-deception.

For instance, it isn’t tough to conceal your emotions, carry a warped image of yourself, or tell yourself that you’re on the right path when you’re not.

Many people do it.

But the underlying reasons for self-deception could be many – like avoiding guilt, finding refuge in ignorance, overlooking pain, resenting change, and so on.

It’s never that simple

Sometimes it’s so subtle that you may not even feel like you’re the one manipulating your thoughts or actions.

It starts as a passive act of overlooking pain that turns into a subconscious behavior.

What happens then?

It leads to mixed feelings that push you on a path of denial.

You lose touch with your inner self. Your most genuine feelings are covered in fog. You struggle with finding stillness amidst the chaos that you create with lies.

That only makes life tough.

And recovering from it takes time.

A simple fix to self-deception

Personally, I believe that a lot of peace of mind and clarity comes from being brutally honest with oneself.

Self-deception begins when we refuse to acknowledge the feelings that we carry. 

It’s more like confessing to yourself what’s genuinely the case, instead of believing otherwise.

If you’re mindful of the simple impulses that you feel – the emotions that you experience – then all that you need next is the courage to embrace the truth, as it is.

Once you’ve done that, you don’t reach out for lies anymore, because however pleasant or unpleasant the truth is, it’s on your side – hence you don’t need to manipulate yourself anymore.