“Life gives me reasons to turn into a resentful giant. I embrace it back every time. Seems like I wouldn’t be able to hate it.”
In certain moments, rage takes over love, disbelief replaces faith, and I begin questioning everything that matters to me.
The world seems fake. All people resemble lies. It only gets harder to restore my belief in simple words as trust and happiness.
I wonder what causes the pains and trauma.
Whom should I blame for what happens?
It’s not that I intend to blame, but I need to find the cause. Some people may say God is responsible. Or maybe life or fate is. Perhaps, the ‘world is such’ kind of excuse can be an ideal explanation.
It doesn’t matter
Circumstances affect me and try turning me into the person I’m not. Life forces me to give up my values and morals. It signals that there’s no point in being the clichéd ‘good person.’
It asks me to suddenly become a skeptical cynic. A bad beast. A hateful fool. The one who becomes miserably disappointed and stops believing in a better future.
I think it’s a bad perspective of looking at life. All the bad stuff tries denting me permanently. Yet, thinking that everything’s dark and I’m fighting it only crumbles me. Who am I even fighting? God, fate, life, the world, or myself?
The betrayals, heartbreaks, losses, failures, disappointments come together and laugh at me in the face. “Kid, you can’t take it anymore,” I feel they’re telling me.
But it seems like I won’t be able to give in, ever.
I haven’t been able to.
I won’t be able to.
We’re a reflection of good things
It’s our nature.
We’re born that way.
No matter how worse situations get or what storms I walk through – it’s hard for me to imagine that I can even give up on compassion, love, and kindness.
If there’s a duel between the good and bad parts of life, then there would be no war. Instead, the right things would turn the bad parts into better bits. It’s a hopeful belief I treasure.
I fall in love with life, like a loser
I don’t move around with a stiff chest and pretend to have fake pride. I surrender myself to the reflections of love and kindness. It doesn’t have to be anything big.
- A kid laughing with a red balloon.
- A dewdrop on grass.
- A song.
I don’t possess resistance against kindness. I create a way when it tries to flow inside me. I let my hatred melt. I go back to preserving my childlike innocence.
Truth is what remains.
Love and kindness are truths.
I wipe my tears, give up my grudges, and leap into the open arms of life again. I’ve realized that I can’t hate life. I don’t even want to. I’m always ready to surrender to it – till eternity.