Inferiority complex is a word which I mostly use while motivating people to trust themselves when they feel low. Sometimes people are like “what complex?”
So let me tell you its meaning before I elaborate it further.
Dictionary Says – Unconscious feelings of insignificance and insecurity hidden by excessively aggressive or compensatory behavior.
In Short – It’s the lack of self-confidence or self-esteem.
My reason for writing this post
A few days back, I was having a chat with my niece. She was messaging me about how she felt diffident while being with her classmates who were at a higher status than that of hers, and whether I could suggest her some cure for that.
Having come from a middle class background and suddenly having to stay with those ‘classy people’ must have surely been a difficult job for her. She wasn’t that serious though, and was just having a general talk.
I sent back a few encouraging messages to make her feel better and went offline.
However, this conversation left my thoughts a bit uncomfortable for the next few minutes. This probably would’ve been because I’ve undergone the same kind of situations several times.
In this life of ours, we owe no one anything. Then why do we suffer from these thoughts which make us feel unworthy repeatedly?
My Personal Experiences
In my case, there have been many occasions on which I felt a lack of self-confidence. Though, some of those feelings were the ones that are common among all people.
1. Remember when you stepped inside a mall the first time?
Well, I clearly remember that day when I had visited a mall during my sixth grade, and the first question which I asked my cousin was “will they charge us for the entry?” “No, it’s free,” he replied. Malls weren’t a common thing in our city 8 years ago, and as a child I used be more insecure.
But as soon as we entered that huge building with high-class interiors, modern products, and lavish shelves, I felt inferior.
There were people hanging around and playing with things in the sports section, whereas I even feared to touch something. I walked around there like a simpleton, slowly discovering various places and still thinking if any of the employees would ask me what I was doing there.
2. My school building was divided in two schools. Where one side was for the SSC board students (common ones) and the other was that of ICSE (the extraordinary).
During those days we weren’t much familiar with the difference both, but some students had spread a hoax that, “What we learn here in eighth standard, is taught there in just fifth standard!” due to which everyone started seeing the ICSE students as Gods or celebrities.
Whenever a situation arose where students of both schools had to stand together, my classmates and I felt like fools. Even the fifth standard boy standing next to us would seem as smart as Isaac Newton. Because he was studying in the fifth grade what we were being taught in eighth! Though not really.
3. Some years ago, computer games were crazily popular among my friends. Each day during free time they’d talk about their scores, cheat sheets, and other stuff, while I would confusedly stare their faces.
I couldn’t join them because I didn’t have a computer, which means that I was naturally kept from participating with them. Now I don’t need to tell that it felt bad, do I?
These above examples were just to remind you that everyone goes through such circumstances, and there’s no need for feeling bad if you’ve been through the same kind of humiliation.
Till now, I’ve confronted many such people who suffer from inferiority complex, and each one of them has a different reason to tell. I too have a lot of experiences.
These people include some of my classmates who have migrated from village, acquaintances who aren’t much literate, and several others.
The Actual Problem
Want to know the actual problem?
The problem is that we think there’s some problem with the world, when it’s actually hiding somewhere within us.
We have ourselves created a kind of mindset, totally filled with insecurities, due to which we fear to express ourselves.
I understand that it isn’t easy to not feel low, but we cannot overcome our insecurities without changing ourselves either. Once you overcome the mindset which makes you think of yourself as low, there won’t be any kind of inferiority complex which could stop you from living your life at your fullest.
- Even if hanging around with rich people makes you feel poor, overcome that feeling, and try to be as much real as you can. Be like you.
- The smarter people around you aren’t a threat to your existence. Instead of feeling dumb, try to mingle with them as much as you can and learn from them instead.
- Try to become comfortable with all kinds of people and environments. There’s no need at all to feel that you are lesser than anyone.
I wish that there was some other solution for it, apart from changing ourselves. But there isn’t.
However, here I’m listing the three root causes of inferiority complex. Like a disease known is half-cured, a problem understood is half solved.
Stop comparing yourself to others. There no reason to do so.
There can only be two outcomes of comparison:
2. You’re worse (Look, the problem started).
Fear of being judged
Don’t you sometimes feel like the center of attraction? Just thinking that you are being noticed can create a lot of insecurity, but stay calm.
Lack of self-esteem
Self-esteem can be easily increased by taking actions, and developing a positive thinking habit.
Overcome your limitations and try to work on the things that make you feel timid. Don’t ever try to do something which lowers your image in your own eyes.
No explanations. Just trust yourself. You deserve that.
- Find out what you’re great at and feel good about it.
- Stop focusing on limitations that stop you, but also work on overcoming them.
- Be sure that your voice is firm enough to stand against the criticism of others.
- Trust your actions, beliefs, and plans.
- The moment you’ll start trusting yourself, nothing will be able to make you feel less than what you are.
Inferiority complex is a problem which is capable of preventing you from living at your fullest. You don’t owe anyone anything, then why to think of yourself as something inferior in this world?
Comparison, fear of being judged, and a lack of self-esteem feed your inferiority complex. Get rid of them. You can get over it by working on your thoughts, and taking actions which favor your self belief.