Some stingers hurt the world terribly. Whatever people conceal and don’t talk about also ends up nibbling their souls. It might not show in their eyes always – the world may not notice either – but people know they’re weighed down by burdens.
I have mine. You have yours. The stuff that we revisit in our heads. What gives us lumps in our throats. The tears that never flowed but froze in us.
At some point, we were like “Screw it, move on!”
Did we move on? Not really. And I don’t believe in hiding behind a fucking brave face. What must be said must be said. We’re fragile and we break easily. But time fixes us like some good quality glue.
And yet, what doesn’t fix itself stays there.
That’s what I believe kills people. Or rather, drains the life out of them as they pass their days. I’ve pondered over it and made a list. I’m calling it…
What kills people
Here’s the stuff that people carry in their hearts and not on their tongues.
Assuming and never trying
That’s how dreams die
Hiding your real self
Deep inside, we hate being hypocrites
Not expressing love
What could’ve been? Yes, no?
Having nothing to be passionate about
What makes lifeless corpses out of us
Taking life (and yourself) too seriously
You become your own adversary
Settling with less than what you deserve
The days pass while the grudges grow
Staying stuck and feeling like a victim
You begin to believe that you’re weak
Not confronting your fears
This unpleasant thought never goes: that you’re a coward
Hurting our loved ones
It gets tough to respect and love yourself again
Letting your health deteriorate
Does make you feel like a loser
Putting the world before yourself
At some point you question – was it worth it?
Moving on (or being left behind)
Either way, parting does leave an incurable wound
Why didn’t you stand up then?
Self-bashing instead of being a friend to oneself
Feels like years wasted
Never finding joy wherever you are
Feel like a life wasted
The list could be longer – but more important than that is the question that it leaves us with. Is there a way out of it? An ointment for these stingers? Not that I know of. We don’t fix some stuff but we live with it.
We learn to pet our pains.