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Vishal Ostwal

I Write About Life

How to Be a Mature Person (Gradually)

How to Be a Mature Person

“I wondered what they really talked about when they talked about growing up. Now, I think I know a little bit about it and life.”

What does maturity even mean?

All people grow up.

They turn 20, they turn 40, and soon 60 – and then they die.

So when does maturity occur amid all these years? They must have gone through something, right? Like, experiences and learning process that molded them.

Maturity isn’t something that simply happens as you grow up. You need to put an effort in gaining emotional or psychological maturity that you strive for.

You need to try.

It’s not that all people would naturally reach a certain maturity level only because they’re growing older. In fact, maturity has more to do with how you live your life than what your age is.

Here’s the thing about growing up

You may often see grown-ups who seem to be mentally stuck in their teen years, and some kids who may appear too wise for their age – so maturity has less to do with age.

Also, maturity isn’t about growing a mustache, wearing a grumpy look, dressing up in formals each day, or drinking coffee instead of Horlicks.

Doing that only makes you look mature, but you don’t become one. From within, you remain what you were. It’s just that you master the art of faking yourself.

You turn into a hypocrite.

So, how can you be a mature person?

After understanding the expectations of people, you can understand what they mean when they tell you to be more mature or ask you to grow up.

Maturity is in dealing with simple parts of life you push away. Once you go through those parts, you become wiser and mature.

Here’s a list of ways to be mature to help you grow up in life

1. Take more responsibilities

Responsibilities are overwhelming.

They grab your freedom.

Yet, as you start fulfilling your duties – small ones first, bigger ones later – you become more mature. Not only you take care of yourself, but also improve others’ lives. That’s kind of a big deal because finally, you find out how capable you are.

You grow stronger.

2. Don’t nag, whine, or complain

Cursing life makes you look irritating, because you want to play the victim but want to solve nothing.

  • Children stamp their feet and cry.
  • Weak people whine and seek sympathy.
  • Worse people complain all the while but fix nothing.

All these behaviors don’t rescue you but add additional stress to lives of people around you. You subconsciously make yourself believe you’re not capable of controlling your life. You accept that you can’t fix anything.

You look immature.

If you give up the usual habit of complaining and whining, you’d automatically find peace of mind and become mature.

3. Quit blaming or making excuses altogether

Excuses are a shortcut – to push away duties, hide your faults, and to cover your stubbornness. They’re ignorance at its best.

You know it when you make excuses.

You try hard to appear innocent and valid – because you don’t want to be seen as weak or unreasonable. So, you use excuses to mask your habit of fleeing away from problems.

That solves nothing.

You don’t grow until you keep making excuses in life. In short, excuses may seem to work in the short term, but they ruin your life.

4. Have the courage to accept what’s coming

Life is uncertain.

You don’t know what obstacle you’ll face.

Yet, if you’re mature, you’ll recognize what your future may turn out to be, and you’ll work towards its advancement.

Opposite to this, if you’re aren’t willing to grow, then you’ll simply pretend like everything’s alright and raise your brows if a sudden misfortunes strike you.

Acting unaware doesn’t make sense when life seems to thrash you.

Take charge, simply because you’re supposed to do it.

5. Allow others to be who they are

Don’t force your political, artistic or personal opinions on others – let them be who they are.

As a mature person, you shouldn’t constantly push people to be as you are or try to change their perspectives – because mostly, you can’t.

Sure, you have the right to disagree and to ask people when they aren’t right – but don’t be an annoying bug. Don’t push people so much they begin to hate you.

People are different.

Accept this simple fact.

6. Don’t gossip or badmouth about people

No matter how frustrated you may be, when you express contempt towards others and try to destroy their reputation, you look equally awful.

  • Don’t say your ex was a bitch after you break up.
  • Don’t say how terrible and selfish you previous boss was.
  • Don’t spend your life discussing lives of other people.

It’s just another bad trick children and immature people use to gain some favor or make themselves appear clean.

Even if it wasn’t your fault and you’re just trying to feel better, you have better ways to fix your life – such as forgiving, straight talk, and moving on.

No matter how strong your urge of pulling others down is, resist it.

7. Be fair to others

All people show care for themselves.

But the most mature ones treat everyone fair, regardless of religion, cultural differences, or their disagreements – because they understand the importance of harmony in the universe.

If you’re mature, you’d be able to see outside your existing beliefs. You’d respect, be kind, and put an effort in understanding everyone.

For instance, the most immature ones might only think of their own welfare, whereas mature people would care even about humanity, animals, and other living beings.

8. Balance your emotions and the rational side

People follow their emotions and go wrong, or they take rational decisions which hurt them. In both cases, they lose.

You need to be able to do what’s right and what makes you happy, both at the same time. You must know what’s right under given circumstances.

Once you strive to make better decisions and come with the right choices, you get close to maturity, as your decision-making ability only strengthens.

You don’t remain confused anymore.

9. Communicate clearly

Are your mind, heart, and tongue in sync?

After a certain stage in life, you should be able to clearly communicate your emotions or intentions, so you don’t jumble.

Through crisp communication, you can tell when you’re hurt, express your love, deal with others the way you want to, and reduce the fuss in life.

It’s only through right communication that you can lower the drama in your life and deal get the expected outcomes.

As you communicate better, you maturity firms. No doubt that your body language is equally important in eliminating the flaws in your interactions.

10. Make your ego and pride lesser important

Immature people are boastful.

Though they’re blank and lost, they’re filled with an excessive feeling of pride. They think the world revolves around them – but no, it doesn’t.

They wish to feel superior, reject others’ perspectives, and have a hard time accepting life. Their ego wrecks them.

Get rid of false pride.

You can have your self-worth without having to be the best. To be mature, it’s enough to know that you’re an ordinary person who holds his or her own importance.

Some people never realize it.

11. Stop seeking attention

Immature people are desperate.

They want to be the center of attention.

They beg for the spotlight, want to get credit, crave to make a name, and wish to stand out of the crowd for no reason.

Against this, though mature people may seek attention, too, they’re majorly focused on their work. To them, attention is the byproduct of the work they do.

So if you want to be mature, don’t throw your hands in the air saying “Hey! Look at me.” Just be noticeable enough. Or even better, stop seeking attention and try to be worthy of it.

12. Be firm about your decisions

If you’ve made a decision, stick to it.

Firstly, arrive at conclusions after a thoughtful process. Once you’ve done that, defend those decisions.

Somehow, be capable of saving your dreams. Act on what you want to do, even when you’re forced to change your course and you’re being made vulnerable.

Don’t be manipulated or quit.

Stand on your own feet.

When you’re mature, you make the right decisions, and you trust the decisions you make.

13. Slowly escape your comfort zone

We’re all stuck in comfort zones which prevent our growth and maturity. We remain inside boundaries that keep ourselves safe. We fear to step out. Staying within limits isn’t safe, though, as it keeps you away from a life you could be living.

That’s fatal.

Step out until you’re able to do things you once couldn’t do. Do what’s unpleasant, if it helps you grow in life. Grow, instead of finding a cozy spot in life.

14. Don’t search meaning in materialism

People who don’t grow up, tie their value to objects.

They buy expensive stuff to please others, to earn a reputation. They think it’s essential to their self-esteem. Still, realize that you own objects and it’s not the other way around.

  • Don’t brag about what you own.
  • Don’t get attracted to tempting junk.
  • Don’t be a part of the hollow rat-race.

Things don’t define you or even make you. You have better work to do in life, than collecting a bunch of belongings to show-off.

15. Be honest, to yourself and everyone else

No tricks or lies.

It takes courage to live a life that’s darn honest.

It’s easy to get away from truth and to be unjust to people. But that’s not something you’d do as a mature person.

Dishonesty takes a toll. It fills you with guilt, regrets, and self-hatred and snatches your peace of mind.

Maintain sheer transparency in your behavior, relationships, work and other aspects of life – and you’d have a reliable character.

16. Admit your flaws and weaknesses

Something’s wrong with people who think they’re perfect.

Most mature people know their own weaknesses. They understand them and work on mending them.

Admit that you’re incapable of doing some tasks or don’t have certain skills, but avoid being a faker.

When you pretend to be perfect or claim to know what you don’t know – you show that you’re a little ashamed of your incapability.

17. Accept the mistakes you make

“I didn’t do it …”

“It’s not my fault because …”

People are used to avoiding mistakes.

They wouldn’t accept their faults, for whatever reason, which makes others dislike them.

For example, avoiding mistakes is a common habit during childhood. But as some people grow up, they forget to break this pattern.

They fail to quit the ‘not my fault’ attitude.

As a mature person, you should have the guts to accept your mistakes and also the willingness to fix them. It shows that you don’t fear, and have the courage to grow.

18. Be clear about your relationships

Do you understand the relations you have with people?

Develop a tendency to recognize important people in your life, and the ones who treat you bad.

Be fair to the people involved with you, and give them the affection they deserve. Don’t take your relationships for granted.

19. Speak your mind and heart out

Being direct can help you face the bad side of life.

Appreciate and express your love for those who inspire you and change your life.

Meet people face-to-face, talk, and resolve all the issues you have with them until the dust settles.

Be direct and have a conversation about any misunderstandings you have. Discuss any unfulfilled expectations.

In short, avoid making a drama out of your life by staying clear with those around you.

20. Know what you want and what you don’t want

Have some clarity.

Unless you know what you want … or don’t want, it’s hard to have a direction in life. Maturity lies in figuring out your priorities in life.

Whether it’s in career, relationship, or your day to day chores – know what you expect out of life.

Spend some time thinking, introspecting and questioning yourself about life. That clarity drives you in the long-term towards success and happiness.

21. Stop seeking external approval

People seek external validation to work on their passions or to act on their thoughts.

They wait to be recognized by others, expect the world to pay attention, and crave applause.

Do what you want to do, even when the world doesn’t motivate or help you. Go on your own.

The sense of independence, the ability to overcome doubts and helping yourself is an advantage to your maturity.

22. React calmly to criticism and rejection

Yelling at your critics solves nothing.

You may choose to shout, get into a debate, or insult those who point out the negatives in you – but that’s not the ideal response.

Maturity also involves effectively responding to criticism and getting over it, without creating a mess.

It’s much like a tact.

Be humble, resist your temper, while saving your self-respect at the same time. The most mature response would be understanding, witty, and kind.

23. Do your thing

Have something you do for yourself.

Do it because you want to do it, no other reasons, and keep doing it.

Make your life interesting, have hobbies, choose your own likes and do them. You can turn your work into play by indulging in it and being passionate, too.

Choosing a work you can control and feel good about makes you mature. As you put in selfless dedication, your work brings out the best in you.

24. Support others’ welfare

If you aren’t concerned about what’s happening in the world – you need to develop a sense of empathy.

That’s because as long as you exist, you’re supposed to serve and contribute, and be willing to do the clichéd task of ‘making the world a better place.’

Now, you can serve your community, volunteer, or donate a part of your income to charities, or participate in other philanthropic activities.

You don’t need to be reminded of this.

If you’re blessed, you should also aim to makes others feel blessed.

25. Be fluid towards change

People are resistant.

They reject change, halting their own growth. They remain caged within their dogmas and habits throughout their lives, until death.

If you’re keen to grow up in life, open your doors to different perspectives and opinions. Be prepared to inculcate changes and various ideas in your life.

It may be hard initially, but your ability to adapt would give you the power to mold yourself according to circumstances, helping you make ideal choices.

26. Keep your word

Say what you say you’ll do.

Don’t make pointless promises or build castles in the air.

What’s the point in talking big when you’re aren’t committed to your decisions? Why would you try to please others if you can’t fulfill their expectations?

Be real.

Say only what you’ll do.

Consider it to be a rule or tip.

Or even better, don’t involve yourself in talking and do what you intend to do – you’ll surprise the world.

27. Be confident about who you are and accept yourself

Stop dressing like a celebrity, hiding reasonless insecurities, and dreading that you’re not worthy of happiness or love.

A simple quality you can have to be mature is to be alright with who you are and feel good about it, even though you may not be perfect.

Don’t think of yourself as inferior. Don’t compare yourself to others. Because it doesn’t make sense or help you become better.

You’re good enough.

Believe it.

Don’t kill the child

Finally, remember that life can be miserable when you grow up.

It’s not necessary to give up your own identity completely. So cherish the childlike part of yours and take life easy. That’s a lesson everyone eventually learns. As for maturity – we all grow, when we’re willing to.

Comments

David Yidel says:

Nice and educating article this will change lives

Kalaivani Rajesh says:

Great. Thank you for such a wonderful article.

Glad that you liked it, Rajesh.

Warren says:

This article hits (almost) every single issue I’m currently facing in my mid-life! I’m 55 and still trying to get my act together! These issues are hard to face, but at some time, we must own up to them, or they’ll destroy us, slowly or otherwise.
Thank you, very much for this article!

Hey Warren, it’s always fine to begin somewhere. It really starts with that ‘moment of realization.’

Above all, remember that self-acceptance comes before anything.

You mentioned ‘almost.’ What did I miss? I’d be happy to write about that someday.

All the best,
Vishal

Smit Shah says:

Does maturity means growing of beard and moustache ????

Napoleon Bonaparte didn’t have a beard, but Aristotle did.

In the end, it doesn’t even matter. Gaining maturity has less to do with one’s physical appearance.

vinay says:

Nice article with crisp and clear points to note.. Well done

Ey says:

Great work. This article will lead me to my maturity. Appreciated very much. Thank you

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