We dodge our problems. But they always return with a greater impact. The problems that we bury or run from don’t go anywhere.
Although we think we’ve overpowered and controlled our problems, they still remain with us, but only in a bit obscured form.
We’re used to distracting ourselves
You might smoke cigarettes to overcome your breakup. Watch television to distract yourself after a financial loss. Travel to move away from the hurt you can’t handle.
These are ways to turn a blind eye to the emotional turmoil that occurs within you. This turmoil gives you a chance to fix life and heal. But it often goes unnoticed.
But do distractions heal us?
We want our problems and pains to disappear – so we desperately seek anything that can work.
While the temporary denial feels comforting, we still sense our miserable thoughts in the long run, realizing that none of what we did has worked much.
For example, I often catch myself acting busy or using work as an excuse to distract myself from the uneasiness within me. I do it until the burden dwells, making me restless.
I can’t kid myself beyond that – so I need to deal with my feelings. This can be followed by me staring in blank spaces or talking to myself in my head.
I’ll admit – it’s weird. But it’s also normal. It’s something we all do as we need to understand our feelings.
Why is admitting problems so tough?
Acknowledging problems is probably harder than solving them. We turn a blind eye to whatever bothers us. We pretend that the giant elephant in the room doesn’t exist. It feels like a good solution.
What does this mean?
That that we’re afraid. That we don’t wish to reveal unpleasant truths. That we aren’t ready to be disappointed. Or perhaps, something else, but it’s never fun.
It’s emotionally tiring to rake the mess inside our heads, dig the reasons, and believe what we don’t want to. It’s not something we want.
So, we flee.
We ignore a problem and pretend as if it will disappear – but that almost never happens. The same problems keep us sleepless.
Think about it.
It’s like the shadow on the curtain that scares you at night. You can fear it and shiver inside your blanket. Or you can dare only once and find out that it’s nothing but the bush of a tree.
Similarly, it’s always worth it to uncover your problems and genuinely admit how you feel instead of sweeping them under the rug, even when you don’t want to be bothered.
The solution for this mess?
Then what should we do when we’re hurt and stuck, but don’t want to delude ourselves with distraction? The simplest thing.
To accept our feelings, to allow them to show up, to let them pass through us and change us. And when they go, they leave us rinsed.
Cry when you want to. Admit your hurt when you’re betrayed. Share your insecurities. Life’s alright when we’re honest. It dwindles only when we manipulate our own being. Be okay with how you feel and express yourself.
In the end, we overcome most of our troubles by simply being real with ourselves, listening to our hunches, and paying attention to the little impulses that drive us.