Why You Need to Take a Stand in Life

“Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.”
– Alexander Hamilton

Take a stand – three words which are deeper in their meaning than what they seem.

At once they signal you to do something about what you’re going through right now. Taking a stand is about being more responsible.

Whenever you are asked to take a stand, it may mean this:

To tolerate uselessness and endure failures no more.
To rise for yourself and others.
To do something to rescue yourself from the hell you are living in.
To take control of things those are going on.

How bad it feels when we fail to take stand. It makes us feel like an utter loser and fills us with guilt. Also, not taking a stand for the things we care becomes a regret for tomorrow. So isn’t it better to be fair on our own side, right now?

Start with doing these things. You’ll feel better.

Have the courage to do the activities which you want to do.
Dare to do the things which you fear to do.
Start what you often think about but don’t due to your fears, doubts and excuses.
Raise you voice against what is unjust.
Don’t step back when you’re right.
Be dedicated, trust yourself more than your critics, and shut your critics with your work.

The price of standing of yourself and others

It isn’t cheap. Not everyone can dare to prove people wrong or stand firmly even after facing the opposition of crowds.

It isn’t a common scene that people stay happy with your decisions and agree with you always. It is impossible to be universally right. You cannot please everyone.

It’s not that you are going to face resistance in whatever you do. But most the time – you will. Sometimes the circumstances will be like you v/s the world.

That will be the time when your faith will guide you to do the right thing. You won’t care about some frowning faces which will have a problem with your being right or wrong according to them.

Why you need to take a stand

When you take a stand, you do it for yourself. Even if you do it for others, you’re actually doing it for yourself, because your heart wants you to do it. It gives you the freedom to be like you and live by your own terms.

It is about breaking the chains which you think you’re bound by, and rising for yourself when you think that you’ve had enough. Taking a stand is among those few of those things which make your life worth living.

The reward

What does breathing feel like? That will be the exact kind of feeling which you’ll get when you’ll take a stand for doing something right.

The rituals made by this world, slavery created by people, feelings of being helpless, and then not having the self-trust which can make you do things, are the things which make your life a suffocation. Taking a stand is also about escaping this suffocation.

You won’t realize this feeling unless you take a stand.

Conclusion

Change things before you feel the self-pity for being helpless.

Take control, stop being weak. Be brave. The moment your instinct tells you that “something needs to be changed,” change it.

Be the first person who helps you – take a stand.

May 17, 2015

Seek the Right Things in Life, Because You Only Get What You Seek

We Only Get What We Seek

“What we seek we shall find; what we flee from flees from us.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

We think a lot over various topics, tasks, and dreams. Becoming confused and getting lost is a part of the process. When we get stuck in situations where we need to rescue ourselves and find out a way to make things better, our optimism is challenged.

This is when our ability to control our thoughts is tested. Our mind fills up with terror and negative thoughts automatically enter our mind. We lose our calm and it becomes difficult for us to focus.

However, these thoughts aren’t always effects of outer surroundings or circumstances, but rise from within.

These are a few examples of how people find what they seek:

• A philosopher seeks truth and he finds it.

• A businessman seeks new ideas and innovations which could profit him and he finds them.

• All search for the right people and friends and then they end up finding them.

• When we seek either solutions or problems, we find them too.

• A miner seeks gold or diamonds and finds them.

• A diver seeks pearls in the oceans and finds them.

There are several other examples which can be given. But I don’t wish to be practical but rather philosophical here. Because here I am talking about the thinkers – what we all are, because we think.

This is what I’m talking about:

We often develop a negative outlook unconsciously, which affects us by preventing our growth and controlling our thoughts.

We never want to think negatively, no one wants to think negatively. However, negative thoughts are inevitable at most of the times.

Wait, I’m not switching the topic. What I’m talking about here are thoughts. The positive ones which can be thought of, and the negative ones which can be ignored.

Exactly this,

• When we think – we fear.
• When we dream – we doubt.
• When we face a crisis – we think of worse.
• When we are weak – we worry about our weaknesses even more.
• When we are vulnerable – we try to know the dangers that follow us.

Aren’t we unknowingly seeking the things which decay us, make us weak, and pull us down, when we could be seeking for the good instead.

What I mean to say is this:

• Why fear, when we can be courageous.

• Why think negative, when we can think positive.

• Why doubt, when we can believe.

• Why to feel weak, when we can be strong.

• Why be pessimists, when we can be optimists.

• Why to see the bad, when we can see the good.

• Why to be a critic, when we can still find something worth appreciating.

• Why to seek problems, when we can find the solutions.

You see? We really find what we seek in life.

If we’re so powerful and capable of gaining what we want, why not aim for the best instead of living being trapped by our timidness?

Conclusion

You really find what you seek, so rather seek good. Believe in yourself and keep your curiosity to discover the good alive. Although you may think that you don’t always get what you dream and wish for, you get it.

But if you aim too little, you only get what you had sought for.

May 13, 2015

How to Deal with Inferiority Complex

How to Deal With Inferiority Complex

Inferiority complex is a word which I mostly use while motivating people to trust themselves when they feel low. Sometimes people are like “what complex?”

So let me tell you its meaning before I elaborate it further.

Dictionary Says – Unconscious feelings of insignificance and insecurity hidden by excessively aggressive or compensatory behavior.

In Short – It’s the lack of self-confidence or self-esteem.

My reason for writing this post

A few days back, I was having a chat with my niece. She was messaging me about how she felt diffident while being with her classmates who were at a higher status than that of hers, and whether I could suggest her some cure for that.

Having come from a middle class background and suddenly having to stay with those ‘classy people’ must have surely been a difficult job for her. She wasn’t that serious though, and was just having a general talk.

I sent back a few encouraging messages to make her feel better and went offline.

However, this conversation left my thoughts a bit uncomfortable for the next few minutes. This probably would’ve been because I’ve undergone the same kind of situations several times.

I kept thinking about this feeling which we get for being lower than someone else financially, socially, or in some other aspect, and some if some solution for it existes.

In this life of ours, we owe no one anything. Then why do we suffer from these thoughts which make us feel unworthy repeatedly?

My Personal Experiences

In my case, there have been many occasions on which I felt a lack of self-confidence. Though, some of those feelings were the ones that are common among all people.

1. Remember when you stepped inside a mall the first time?

Well, I clearly remember that day when I had visited a mall during my sixth grade, and the first question which I asked my cousin was “will they charge us for the entry?” “No, it’s free,” he replied. Malls weren’t a common thing in our city 8 years ago, and as a child I used be more insecure.

But as soon as we entered that huge building with high-class interiors, modern products, and lavish shelves, I felt inferior.

There were people hanging around and playing with things in the sports section, whereas I even feared to touch something. I walked around there like a simpleton, slowly discovering various places and still thinking if any of the employees would ask me what I was doing there.

2. My school building was divided in two schools. Where one side was for the SSC board students (common ones) and the other was that of ICSE (the extraordinary).

During those days we weren’t much familiar with the difference both, but some students had spread a hoax that, “What we learn here in eighth standard, is taught there in just fifth standard!” due to which everyone started seeing the ICSE students as Gods or celebrities.

Whenever a situation arose where students of both schools had to stand together, my classmates and I felt like fools. Even the fifth standard boy standing next to us would seem as smart as Isaac Newton. Because he was studying in the fifth grade what we were being taught in eighth! Though not really.

3. Some years ago, computer games were crazily popular among my friends. Each day during free time they’d talk about their scores, cheat sheets, and other stuff, while I would confusedly stare their faces.

I couldn’t join them because I didn’t have a computer, which means that I was naturally kept from participating with them. Now I don’t need to tell that it felt bad, do I?

These above examples were just to remind you that everyone goes through such circumstances, and there’s no need for feeling bad if you’ve been through the same kind of humiliation.

Till now, I’ve confronted many such people who suffer from inferiority complex, and each one of them has a different reason to tell. I too have a lot of experiences.

These people include some of my classmates who have migrated from village, acquaintances who aren’t much literate, and several others.

The Actual Problem

Want to know the actual problem?

The problem is that we think there’s some problem with the world, when it’s actually hiding somewhere within us.

We have ourselves created a kind of mindset, totally filled with insecurities, due to which we fear to express ourselves.

I understand that it isn’t easy to not feel low, but we cannot overcome our insecurities without changing ourselves either. Once you overcome the mindset which makes you think of yourself as low, there won’t be any kind of inferiority complex which could stop you from living your life at your fullest.

Even if hanging around with rich people makes you feel poor, overcome that feeling, and try to be as much real as you can. Be like you.
The smarter people around you aren’t a threat to your existence. Instead of feeling dumb, try to mingle with them as much as you can and learn from them instead.
Try to become comfortable with all kinds of people and environments. There’s no need at all to feel that you are lesser than anyone.

A Solution

I wish that there was some other solution for it, apart from changing ourselves. But there isn’t.

However, here I’m listing the three root causes of inferiority complex. Like a disease known is half-cured, a problem understood is half solved.

Comparison

Stop comparing yourself to others. There no reason to do so.

There can only be two outcomes of comparison:

1. You’re better (Who cares?)
2. You’re worse (Look, the problem started).

So rather focus on improving yourself and keep the habit of comparing yourself to others aside.

Fear of being judged

Don’t you sometimes feel like the center of attraction? Just thinking that you are being noticed can create a lot of insecurity, but stay calm.

Don’t manipulate your words and actions due to the fear of being judged. You’re a way better when real. People have a lot of other important things going in their lives, so there are hardly any chances of your being judged.

Lack of self-esteem

Self-esteem can be easily increased by taking actions, and developing a positive thinking habit.

Overcome your limitations and try to work on the things that make you feel timid. Don’t ever try to do something which lowers your image in your own eyes.

As soon as you’ll start taking actions, confidence will follow. Be impeccable.

Trust Yourself

No explanations. Just trust yourself. You deserve that.

Find out what you’re great at and feel good about it.

Stop focusing on limitations that stop you, but also work on overcoming them.

Be sure that your voice is firm enough to stand against the criticism of others.

Trust your actions, beliefs, and plans.

The moment you’ll start trusting yourself, nothing will be able to make you feel less than what you are.

Conclusion

Inferiority complex is a problem which is capable of preventing you from living at your fullest. You don’t owe anyone anything, then why to think of yourself as something inferior in this world?

Comparison, fear of being judged, and a lack of self-esteem feed your inferiority complex. Get rid of them. You can get over it by working on your thoughts, and taking actions which favor your self belief.

May 11, 2015

When You Make Something But it Already Exists

Usually we try to keep our creations as original as possible, and need to come up with new ideas so that we can have something gorgeous that can surprise, please and serve others.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re an entrepreneur finding a new strategy for your business, an artist experimenting with your art, a scientist trying to invent something new or just another person figuring out new ways to do things in a better way.

It always happens.

There’s a natural urge within us which forces us to innovate something new each time. Its a kind of desire that urges us to do something off the track and leave a mark of our unique identity by creating masterpieces.

We put in our blood and sweat to produce another wonderful thing which could replace what could break the conventional ways. Or at least, set a new standard apart from the things which aren’t different.

This is the reason why DaVinci painted Mona Lisa, Zuckerberg started Facebook, and also why Ford invented cars for the masses. They craved to create something better and innovate.

We’re similar. The ones who want to come up with new ideas which can change the existing rituals.

How often does it happen that we really create such a thing? Not so often.

To me, sometimes it seems like that all the good things that can be thought of already exist, and there’s hardly anything left for us to be discovered. Though, I said “it seems,” instead of “it is.”

Which means that there will always be a plenty of space for new things which will take birth. And as usual, change will charm the world. Now let me talk about the heart of this matter.

Can you recall the last time you made something? You must have obviously created something, regardless of what your field is.

It could’ve been your science project, a presentation or art. I don’t even know about the fascinating thing which you have made. But I can bet on one truth that you had tried to make it the best.

Hadn’t you?

And how do I know that?

Because everyone including you and me has the same thoughts while making something.

After all, no one thinks about creating anything mediocre. As we go on creating, we realize that what we do isn’t very special. There are thousands of people like us who create millions of things like that of ours. Soon we feel that what we make or do isn’t much deserving. This one thought is enough to drag you down.

You think you’re unworthy? You’re not.

You think what you do isn’t that great? It is.

You think that there are thousands of other people who can do your work better than you? They can’t. Even if they can, there’s no reason it should stop you from doing what you want to.

Do you know why is what you do so special? Because you do it. When you do something, your work reflects you.

When you do what you want to do:

• It shows that you are ascending towards your dreams.
• It shows that you’re not only willing, but doing too.
• It shows that you’re learning.
• It shows that you haven’t stopped yet.

Above all, it shows that even if right now you aren’t doing anything earth shattering, you will, very soon.

It often happened to me and to those around me that whenever we discussed our ideas about something new, we realized that we weren’t even able to imagine. Such is the reality.

Even in the midst of our silliest conversations, we laughed about how we couldn’t think of a unique thing that awaits to be invented or imagined by us.

Gravity? Newton has already discovered it.
Time machine? Dude, even Doraemon has it.
Wireless smartphone input application? Well tried boy, but there’s already an app in the market for that.

Umm…well, is there anything left for us too? Or are we too late?

Nope, Its never too late.

The world is ever progressing. So, it is hard to believe that there’s any limitation, because there isn’t any.

Each year, theaters show hundreds of movies with the same age old genres like sci-fi, romance, tragedy, etc. and yet they attract crowds of people because each time they come with some new ways to astound the audiences.

Also, when people were getting bored of ordinary age old music, Rap and Rock took birth.

Apart from these, there are several other examples you may find around yourself which represent the never-ending cycle of innovation.

So how should you feel when you make something similar to what already exists?

If you too are among the millions who make something or come up enthusiastically with a new idea, but then realize that what they did isn’t unique from the ones that already exist, then you aren’t meant to feel bad.

You may feel the guilt of being a copycat, or inferior for not being up to your expectations.

Such thoughts can decrease your motivation at once and severely affect your work. You may even start to see quitting as a better option than trying harder. But don’t fall prey to such futility. Keep on trying until your efforts pay off (they do) and you become capable of producing your own unusual creations.

That’s the actual way in which innovation takes its root – by being persistent, working on presently available ideas, searching for somewhat off the track, and by not giving up until you become what you should be.

The same kind of things happen to everyone. It often happens that I make quote after thinking for a long time, and then search on Google to check if it already exists so that no one could question the authenticity of my writing.

But to my surprise, some quotes out there are quite similar to mine. So I drop them and try to create some new ones again. It goes on in the same way until I create something different.

Don’t hesitate to move further on the path of your dreams, even when you cannot value your work anymore. You’ll soon earn what you deserve as hard work never stays without bringing results.

Conclusion

Manage to carry on with your good work in spite of feeling that what you do isn’t anything different or is incapable of bringing results.

Everyone starts from zilch. The ones who give up are kept from achieving their goals, and the ones who somehow manage to learn and grow get the opportunity of doing big things.

May 6, 2015

What Staying in the Background Can Teach You About Work

You might have heard the word anonymous. The one which also means nameless, unknown, and faceless. This word isn’t much weird, but if you think more deeply about it, it is.

I’ve been curious about it. Almost always. To me, it represents a mystery. An untold story.

In my school, when I read the words such as Anon and Anonymous written below some short stories and poems in my textbooks, I often wondered about who those faceless people were.

At that time, before I knew the actual meaning of the word, I used to think that Anon was some really cool writer. When I read something with the word anon below it, I always thought “Wow! Anon is a cool writer.”

But as I grew up, I came to know that Anon was simply a name given to those “faceless people” not having an identity.

What it means to be a nobody

How painful it is to be nobody. To work as hard as you can and discover that nobody knows what you did. To create something and let others take the credit for it. To hide yourself in the shadows when you’re the one on whom the spotlight should shine.

Yes, it can be painful.

Yet, there are people who put their blood and sweat in their creations. Who do something remarkable with their hard work and then hide behind the mask of anonymity. These people are sometimes those who are left or just prefer to stay in the background.

Why do they prefer to stay in the background? Walk into their shoes and you’ll know.

Staying in the background isn’t always bad

One of the first thoughts which struck my mind when I saw the photos of freedom fighters in my history books was, “Are these people all? What about the rest?” After all, there were many other dedicated people who had sacrificed their lives for the country as well. Though nobody knows about them. Has their contribution become useless just because their faces don’t appear in my history books or because no one knows about them? Never.

On several occasions I’ve come to know about people who flaunt socially about how much they earn and make attempts to highlight themselves. They brag about the donations and try to build the base of their reputation on it. I also know some generous people who silently keep up their good work and donate without uttering a word about it to anyone. Is the contribution of the latter ones useless?

Then there are others, the ones like you and me who do little things to make the world a better place. Not everything we do is known. Though we keep on doing nice work. Do we cease to do good just because no one notices? We don’t.

Maybe you don’t always need to get noticed

Success isn’t about staying at the center of attraction, getting credit, or being praised for your work. Sometimes, what you do for serving people is far greater than the biggest achievements. There are thousands in the queue who are dying to get noticed, you don’t always need to be among them.

I wrote my first guest post which was about 1700 words, mailed it to the fellow blogger, and asked him to keep my name anonymous. Just because I wanted to walk my talk before I writing this post.

That post still shows ‘By – Guest contributor’ instead of my name. Maybe that post would’ve have sent me some new readers, or it could’ve spread.

But there was something which I realized by doing it – with a name or without it, we can always serve. Even now when I look at that simple post, I realize that even if I’m anonymous there, my work isn’t.

It’s not wrong to make attempts to get some attention. Better if that helps you achieve your dreams. But your desire for attention shouldn’t become an obstacle to your success. Keep your dreams and work above everything, because outcomes are a cheap way of measuring dreams.

What staying in the background can teach you about work

Ever saw a drama? There are the actors on the grand stage, dressed in beautiful costumes, saying all the witty dialogues and gaining everyone’s affection. In the end of the show they take away all the credit and praises.

What about the make-up man, the costume designer, the decorator and the cleaner? They celebrate in silence behind the curtains.

Their success isn’t defined by the applause which they never get, but rather by their contribution to their work. Same thing happens in movies. No one reads the credits.

Staying in the background makes you humble. It gives you an opportunity to peek from behind the backstage and see how others treat your work. In your heart, you know it was you who created something but didn’t get the credit.

However, when no one knows about you, outcomes don’t matter much to you, and you become more loyal to your work. You give away your craving for attention and praise. After that, you fall in love with your work and rediscover the reason why you had started in the first place.

Also, when you aren’t at the center of attention, you don’t take criticism as personal disgrace. Instead, you treat it as a feedback for your work and use it to improve yourself.

When you don’t get enough attention, you take yourself less seriously, become open to improvement, and treat your own work as you treat the work of others. Honestly, and without being partial towards yourself.

Conclusion

You don’t always need to be in the spotlight. Your work matters more than your aspiration of accomplishing something. Even when your efforts don’t get the necessary attention, they go on serving others.

For now, if you have a dream and your are working on it, then give up your craving for attention, praise and outcomes. Fall in love with what you do. Make attempts to get better at it. You’ll ultimately win all that you deserve.

May 4, 2015

Want to Thrive in Life? Stop Asking the Wrong Questions

Each day, we ask so many questions. Sometimes to others, and other times to ourselves.

We don’t stop thinking or questioning. Though many of the questions which we ask are the results of our curiosity, several of them are just useless. Those questions are of the kind which aren’t of any use for sure.

Your questions can be categorized into several types if they had to be classified. Like the ones which arise due to your unawareness or maybe due to your misunderstandings.

However all your questions have some underlying causes. Though these cause might not be apparent, they control you and make you ask the questions you ask.

Here’s something you might not be aware of – if you ask too many questions, the ones which don’t matter, you might get used to them and won’t even notice when they would start turning you into a coward.

Frequently questioning your actions and decisions is enough to hold yourself back and to justify your excuses. Enough to feed your doubts and fill yourself with fear and uncertainty.

Seeking Approval

Should I do it?
Will it benefit me?
Will I succeed at it?

These are few of those questions which I used to ask myself whenever I decided to start a thing. Nowadays, I do it less.

There always comes a time when these questions start acting like roadblocks. If they succeed to get you, you get stuck in planning, but you’ll do nothing. Nothing that you thought you would do.

I often come across people who ask such questions. They want all the answers and assurance at once; even before starting.

But these questions mean nothing. They’re useless.

Once I started asking such things, I wondered what made me ask those. So I tried to find the cause of these questions. I introspected and dived deeper within my thoughts.

This was the answer I realized – my habit of questioning was actually a result of my insecurities and doubts.

Each time I questioned myself or paused when thinking about working on my goals, I felt an underlying emotion which said, “Somebody assure me that I’m doing the right thing. Please assure me that I’m not getting into trouble.”

You might have felt similar emotions echoing inside you. They exist in all of us. You cannot get rid of them either – but you can do something sensible – you can tackle them.

“Should I be a musician?” – Don’t ask others. Start making more music.

“Will my business succeed?” – No one can guarantee that. Wait and see how it goes.

Doubt Cleaners

Am I good at it?
Am I doing it in a right way?

Such questions arise after you start. You may somehow manage to begin a thing and work on it, yet you can’t always shut up your inner critic.

In such cases, you ask others to judge our work and request them give you some advice so as to clear the clouds of your doubts.

While you ask such questions, you may be right to do so – but not always. Its okay to do it sometimes. After all, nobody wants to do the wrong things or move aimlessly toward his dreams.

However, with your desperate habit of questioning, you wish to know whether you’re good enough; because you can only succeed when you’re fine. You also seek appreciation, even if unconsciously, because you want to believe that you’re skillful. It helps you to keep going on in the long run.

But you’re just hiding from the truth.

Your doubts are controlling you. You can’t be patient till you achieve your goals. Persistence is a tiring. So you find every possible way convince yourself that you’re great at what you do. This give you a sense of accomplishment, so you feel at peace and relax.

In reality, you might be awful at what you do. The people who say that you’re great might be lying just because they don’t want to disappoint you. Maybe your goals are a lot farther than you might have thought.

None of this matters.

Everyone sucks when starting out. Hard work is always the secret recipe to every success. It takes long for dreams to turn into reality. You already know all the truths. Perhaps, you want to pretend like you don’t see what is obvious.

Maybe you missed something.

You’re already good. Maybe not the best, but it’s alright. You can improve. You can achieve all the dreams you have planned for yourself and even master the work you do. You already know the road that stands before you.

So stop manipulating yourself.

Its just that you don’t choose to trust yourself, and leave the responsibility of discovering your weaknesses on others, instead of dealing with the painful affair. You don’t need to do that.

If you’re right, if you’re working hard – nothing can keep you away from what you’re aiming at.

Fear Builders

Should I quit it?
What if I fail?

This kind of questions do the final job of killing your dreams.

What if someone says “Yes” when you ask “Should I quit?” Will you give up on your dreams? Are you so insincere regarding what defines the purpose of your life? Are others’ beliefs much important to you than your own?

What I know is that you still need to go on your weary way, with the burden of your insecurities, imperfections, and every darn thing that stands on your way and tries to halt you. There’s no other way out.

One of the mistakes which you make by asking these questions is empowering your fears.

After which, you allow your weaknesses to win. You surrender yourself to your failures and stop trying. You murder your hopes and put an end to your journey.

Start asking the right questions

The next time question someone regarding how you feel or about you dreams, pause and reflect. Chances are you might be already aware of the reasons why you’re questioning and don’t want to admit the doubts and fears hiding somewhere deep within your thoughts.

Ask the right questions. The wrong ones can slowly poison your dreams to death.Be keen about what you ask to yourself.

Once you focus more on your work and start acting on your dreams, you won’t ask much questions. You’ll have become capable of clearing-off your doubts.

Conclusion

The pointless questions which you ask, empower your fears and doubts. They take birth when you stop believing in yourself, and fade away when you trust yourself. So, the next time you question, remember to reflect before you ask.

Start asking the right questions to yourself.

“What should be my next step?”

“What specific and small steps can I take to start working on my dream?”

“What inspires me to work better?”

You have plenty of opportunities around you, you dreams have a place for them in this world, and you can prosper each day. Sometimes, all you need to do is start asking the right questions.

Have you ever struggled with doubts and questions that keep holding you back? How do you cope up with them? I would like to hear from you. Leave a comment.

March 11, 2015