You don’t refill the fuel tank when your car has a flat tire or drink cough syrup when you get a cut on your finger. Any effort must be directed where the fix is required, right?
Similarly, it doesn’t help when we pursue other ways and avoid accepting our raw feelings just because they bring some uneasiness along with them.
Although we usually have our reasons for avoiding thoughts or hunches that sting, it turns out that turning a blind eye to them isn’t worth it.
Common ways of avoidance may include something like smoking a cigarette to relieve pain temporarily or turning on loud music to avoid deeper introspection.
Basically, distracting yourself from the root cause that requires attention. And these ways may even seem to work, but much like duct tape solutions that only lasts for a while until the required repair is done.
So, what works when these shortcuts don’t?
Making an effort to heal
Ignoring real feelings instead of facing them seems fine, but only until the disregarded feelings cause a greater turmoil.
For example, consider how we manipulate ourselves when we don’t want to believe something.
- We respond angrily when we’re brittle
- We boast when we’re afraid or insecure
- We act loud when we’re defensive
In a way, we manipulate or toy with our emotions when we sense that we’re forced into a zone that we’ve been dodging.
And that habit of altering emotions worsens when we internalize our thoughts. Since there’s nobody to correct us or suggest an alternate perspective, it’s easier to misguide ourselves, which can leave a lasting impact on our coping mechanisms.
Where does one begin with emotional wellness?
Time and again, I’ve realized that acceptance is a fine starting step when it comes to regaining sanity by dealing with feelings.
As humans, we refrain from vulnerability and deny our softer side – but genuinely admitting what’s affecting us takes the burden off our shoulders and fills us with the courage to initiate a change.
This is followed by brutal honesty with oneself.
And how does one continue?
The way to overcome pain and move on still requires surrendering oneself and admitting what we must.
Wear no pretense until you find out what had really been affecting you all this while – and then you can go back to living life that doesn’t feel coated with false beliefs.